Family Letters from China

Several months ago my mom gave me a small manila envelope that had my grandmother's handwriting on it.  It said "Inf. on Dan's Mother;" Dan's mother being my great-grandmother Prudence Ruth Cooley Truax who died in 1930 at age 28.  She'd given birth to her fourth child, her first daughter, a couple of days prior.  My grandpa - the one I called Pop - was just four when his mom died.  Pop is the smiley little boy below, pictured with his parents and older brothers, David and Carlton.  (Pop was born April 8, 1926, so this picture was probably a bit later that year.)

The envelope had some interesting things which I wanted to photograph and share with family members partly because the paper is so thin - and what if I lost the letters somehow? 

If you are interested in reading Edgar Allen Truax's letter to his mom, about his wife's death, here you go.   I think if you click on the pictures, you can read it better.

Also, another family member wrote this about her burial. Apparently Prudence's mother wrote folks back home (I'm thinking "back home" was Iowa) with this information.

This was written on the outside of the above (2nd) letter.  

Finally, a wedding announcement for Pop's mom and dad's marriage.

September Books

So this month I ended up reading two books dealing with China, and two memoirs about people leaving their faiths.  I didn't know the two latter books would delve so much into childhood sexual abuse when I started them.  I was thoroughly disgusted at how two powerful churches (one for sure; the other maybe was falsely accused) have used their money and clout to cover abuse for the sake of their churches' reputations!  Children be damned as long as the faith is protected?  Horrible!  And even though these two churches are not my own, I condemn any who cover abuse for the sake of their reputations. How about some character, people...not hypocrisy!   And I would dare to speak for God and say He is thoroughly disgusted by this as well.  Yes, your church might go through bad publicity - as it should!  And it IS shameful.  And it IS a horrible testimony. And it DOES cause unbelievers to blaspheme God in many cases (see II Samuel 12).  But these things must be dealt with. You can't expect sin to stay hidden, that you will always be able to protect the guilty. God knows what is going on. He's not giving you a free pass.  Sorry, I had to get this out. I see my precious nephews. One is ten and a half, the other almost 17 months old, and I cannot stand the thought of anyone abusing them and getting by with it because some church doesn't want bad publicity.  And don't get me started on churches that know of sexual predators and reassign them to other posts where they can prey on a new batch of children. Grrrrr.

Boy, I rarely get this testy when doing my monthly book reports, huh?




Among the Righteous: Lost Stories From the Holocaust's Long Reach Into Arab Lands by Robert Satloff -- This Jewish man researches the stories of Arab treatment of Jews in North Africa.  I enjoyed the story of Khaled Abdul-Wahab and the author's attempt to get him accepted as the first Arab remembered by Yad Vashem for his role in saving Jews during the Holocaust. He comes across many roadblocks as more recent politics play into whether Arabs want to be known for helping Jews. Also Jews sometimes deny the Holocaust's reach into the Arab countries.





Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China by Jung Chang  -- I didn't realize this book was so long when I picked it up, but over 500 pages later, I must say that I enjoyed learning the story of these three women. The author shared about her grandmother who was a concubine to a general and later married to a much older doctor.  The family dynamics of her coming into this family made me appreciate the simplicity of marriage in my own culture.  (Her new husband's oldest son ended up shooting himself in a fit of rage because of this proposed marriage. He died.)  This story involved the author's mother and father, and their commitment to the Communist Party. I enjoyed the examples of life in China at this time and during the reign of Mao and the Cultural Revolution.  I had to smile when she told of how "eat all your food because there are poor capitalists in the West who are starving and would love to have the food you are eating" was used on them as children.  (I've heard a similar version growing up.)  I was struck by the patriarchy of this traditional society and how Communism declared women and men more equal. I got to wondering just how far back patriarchy goes and where did repressing women and elevating men begin? 

I just thought this was interesting.

"Following the custom, my great-grandfather was married young, at fourteen, to a woman six years his senior.  It was considered one of the duties of a wife to help bring up her husband."  (pg. 22)


With some exceptions like books on Mao's writings and "revolutionary operas," among the many things banned or seen as too "bourgeois" during the Cultural Revolution in China -- books, paintings, musical instruments, sports, cards, chess, teahouses, bars, flowers, grass (yes, grass was pulled up as if it were an enemy!), films, plays, concerts, long hair for women...  (pg. 332)


"To me, the ultimate proof of freedom in the West was that there seemed to be so many people there attacking the West and praising China.  Almost every other day the front page of Reference, the newspaper which carried foreign press items, would feature some eulogy of Mao and the Cultural Revolution. At first I was angered by these, but they soon made me see how tolerant another society could be.  I realized that this was the kind of society I wanted to live in: where people were allowed to hold different, even outrageous views. I began to see that it was the very tolerance of opposition, of protestors, that kept the West progressing."  (pg. 472)



The Lost Daughters of China by Karin Evans - a friend sent me this book thinking I'd like it and I did!  The author and her husband adopted a little girl from China (two actually),and she tells some of their story and also bits of stories from others. She explores the reasons women would give up their daughters, the hardship of life in China, orphanage life and adjusting to life in the US among other things. I shed a few tears for the innocent ones who are abandoned and left behind in orphanages as well as the ones who never have a chance at life because they are either aborted or killed upon delivery. Also I cried for those women who would have chosen to keep their children, but could not for the sake of society.  I can't imagine how difficult that must be.

Here is one excerpt I wanted to share.

Re: the only-children of China being spoiled:  "'Many parents of the nineties,'...'were part of the lost generation of the Cultural Revolution. After suffering so much themselves, they were determined not to deprive their only child. Beijing's biggest toy store was always jammed with parents buying toddler-sized fake fur coats, imported baby shampoo and red Porsche pedal cars.'

Yet she saw good things coming out of the situation. 'Many people thought that a country populated with Little Emperors was headed for disaster. I disagreed.  Granted it might be unpleasant to live in a nation of me-first onlies, yet I saw a social revolution in the making. For generations, Chinese society had emphasized the family, the clan, the collective over the individual. Now, for the first time in four thousand years of history, the relationship was reversed. Where the Mao generation failed, the Me generation just might succeed.' She quoted a British friend, Michael Crook, 'If you have a population of Little Emperors, you can't have little slaves. Everyone will want to tell everyone else what to do. You'll have democracy.'"  (pg. 234)




Losing My Religion by William Lobdell - I found this at the local Friends of the Library book sale; a reporter talks about his faith in Christ, how he got a job reporting religious news for a newspaper and eventually lost his faith.  The book was very respectful, really, but made me sad because he admits he saw very little difference in the majority of Christians' lives compared to the general population.  I don't think it's supposed to work like that!

"So what has taken the place of God in my life? A tremendous sense of gratitude. I sense how fortunate I am to be alive in this thin sliver of time in the history of the universe. This gives me a renewed sense of urgency to live this short life well. I don't have eternity to fall back on, so my focus on the present has sharpened.   I find myself being more grateful for each day and more quickly making corrections in my life to avoid wasted time.  I've tightened my circle of friends, wanting to maximize time with people I love and enjoy the most. I've become more true to myself because I'm not as worried about what others think of me. ... That's what losing God has done for me. Permanent death - I don't think I have the escape hatch to heaven anymore - now sits squarely in front of me, unmoving as I rapidly approach.  And you know what? My breakfast does taste better. I feel the love of my family and friends more deeply. And my dreams for my life have an urgency to them that won't allow me to put them off any longer. I can no longer slog through each day, knowing that if my time on Earth isn't used to its fullest potential, it's no big thing, that I have eternity with God ahead of me."  (pg. 278-279)



Leaving the Saints by Martha Beck -- I've often been driven to tears and disgust and anger and laughter and joy, but I don't think a nonfiction book has creeped me out until I read this book. Really it wasn't that creepy, but I just so happened to read a part (about Danites if you must know) right before bed and it must have upped the "creep factor" in my mind.  Like I told someone else, I take most leaving the faith stories with a huge dose of salt (as opposed to a mere grain) because I realize sometimes people won't present their former faiths in the best lights due to their own personal experiences. For others, the faith is a hugely wonderful thing partly because they haven't experienced those awful things. So, that said, I enjoyed this book and some of the talk of sealing in the temple (she didn't go into great detail because she knows it's sacred), wards (I often wondered what those were pg. 54), heavenly mothers (yes, plural, since God is a polygamist, too pg. 75), BYU (pg. 77), the Mormon view of heaven and its levels (pg. 87), the Egyptian papyri that early Mormons bought from a traveling guy who showed the papyri for a living (pg. 155), more talk on polygamy and how women and men viewed it (pg. 177), the victimization of the Saints in history (pg. 181) and much more. I stopped noting it after awhile.

By the way, this lady came out as sexually abused by her father, apparently a well-known Mormon apologist. I decided to look him up.

This is her father, Hugh Nibley

A Q&A with her after the Mormon Church responded and a sampling of some of the responses she's received by email.  It's sad how many others have been sexually abused.

A collection of sites about this book - not sure how fair these are, but there are a number of links.

And when I mentioned this book to a Mormon blogger, she said she'd read the book, it did not ring true and she wasn't the only one who thought this way.

Torah and China: On Marrying Your Rapist

So I was reading No Tears For Mao by Niu-Niu this morning (my second book on China this week) and came across a chapter that reminded me of a disturbing section of the Old Testament about men who rape women being commanded to marry them.  Like any woman who has just been violated wants to marry the scum bag.  (So she says from her 21st century perspective ...)

I remembered when David's son raped his half sister and when he sent her away after the rape, she cried out that this was even more wrong!  My Bible's study notes read:


Though Tamar was no longer a virgin, Amnon could spare her some humiliation if he would own up to what he had done to her. By Israelite custom she would be forced to remain unmarried for the rest of her life. She therefore sought to be married to Amnon which, because of his sexual assault, was her right (Deut. 22:28-29).

pg. 437


It's kind of disturbing that patriarchy is so AWFUL that marrying your rapist is a right for women.  (So she says from her 21st century perspective...I know, I know.)

Or that women are considered so invaluable that having been violated meant she had to remain single the rest of her life.



The book I was reading was talking about the mid-seventies. As in not even forty years ago..so yeah 1976 to be exact. 

And this is in China so not exactly Jewish Law here either. 



Well, the story is that this woman was sent into the countryside for reeducation and when she refused to marry a "brutish" and "coarse" party official, he took his revenge by raping her.

Then he did "the most humiliating thing you could do to a woman" which was "forcing her to appear before a self-criticism session with a pair of shoes around her neck" signaling she was "damaged goods" in a sexual sense.

The young lady demanded justice, but due to this man's power, no one dared oppose him. So he "became even more arrogant and abusive: ... stripping and raping her in front of a group of intimidated peasants."

All sorts of injustices happened after that, but this is what reminded me of the Old Testament passages.

When the woman's family found out, they tried to get some justice for her, but the judge said there was no way of finding out if it were rape or consensual sex.

"Feeling completely desperate, my uncle realized his daughter's life was ruined since no young man would want to marry her; the only solution was to marry her to the man who had defiled her.  Lien-hua had reluctantly agreed to this. It was the only way for her to have a home and to expiate her shame, save face and, consequently, lead a normal life. The entire family was on its knees - begging this creature, promising anything that he demanded.  My uncle offered to give him his savings, so that they could buy furniture and whatever else was needed to set up a household, but the rapist continued to balk."  (pg. 165)

Oh my word. Can you imagine your parents and cousins begging a brutal rapist to marry your precious relative in order to save face and live a normal life? 

I declare, people, we are so so so so blessed to not be born in some cultures.  These books about Chinese women are eye-opening.


I suppose if this were the status of women of the world thousands of years ago, making rapists obligated to care for their victims was a step up. It seems bad for me looking backward, but if your sole purpose in life was to have a husband and children and having been defiled meant no one would marry you ...

*whew*  I wonder if much has changed in China regarding women's rights in these last 40 years.

I hope so.

Can Nationalism and Unity Co-Exist?

"As economic fortunes rise, so does nationalism.  This is understandable. Imagine that you lived in a country that had been poor and unstable for centuries.  And then, finally, things turn around and your nation is on the rise. You would be proud and anxious to be seen. This desire for recognition and respect is surging throughout the world. It may seem paradoxical that globalization and economic modernization are breeding political nationalism, but that is only if we view nationalism as a backward ideology, certain to be erased by the onward march of progress."

Jews refer to themselves a M.O.T., member of the tribe. Of course the Bible speaks of the twelve tribes of Israel quite a lot.  There are tribes in Arabia, Africa and this morning I read about the Rise of the Hans, the "dominant cohesive ethnic group in the world."  Then I read the above-mentioned quote in a new book, The Post-American World, by Fareed Zakaria.  His book brings up interesting points mostly about the rise of emerging markets and other powers such as Brazil, China and India that aren't necessarily choosing to go the "western" route nor are they choosing to be "rogue states." They are forging a middle path. 

Yet the talk about nationalism intrigued me.  As you know I've been reading about the Orthodox Church.  One problem the author mentioned is how when the Church was dispersed into other lands - say into the USA - many of the groups wanted to keep their own languages for the services. Greeks in America would ask for a priest from Greece and the services would be in Greek, a welcome tie to the home country.  The same with Russians and Serbians and others.  All of this just today and without my looking for related topics: a very nationalistic impression of Orthodoxy abroad, an article on the Hans of China that I just happened to come across when reading another article and then this rise of nationalism talk from Zakaria's book!  What are the odds?

Nationalism carving up the world

So what do you think of nationalism? Is it simply patriotism such as we often believe should be the default mode of any true-blooded American who hasn't fallen off the deep end into being one of those haters?  Is it disguised racism or bigotry; what with all that thinking that your race/tribe/culture is better than all the rest?  Is it just a genuine healthy pride in the things that set your group apart from others?  Your contribution to the world as a whole? Is there a healthy balance so that we don't get to Nazi extremes of thinking the best people must look a certain way and come from a "superior" bloodline?

Zakaria continues with, "Nationalism has always perplexed Americans.  When the United States involves itself abroad, it always believes that it is genuinely trying to help other countries better themselves.  From the Philippines and Haiti to Vietnam and Iraq, the natives' reaction to U.S. efforts has taken Americans by surprise. Americans take justified pride in their own country -- we call it patriotism -- and yet are genuinely startled when other people are proud and possessive of theirs."  (pg. 33)


So do you think of nationalism (or patriotism in America's case) as a "backward ideology" that should be exiting the world as the world gets more "flat" and global? Or is it, as Zakaria suggests, understandable as formerly poor countries want their time in the spotlight? 

From a spiritual point of view, do you believe nationalism (or tribalism) is a positive thing showcasing the goodness of the variety of people God created? Or is it negative because it erects walls and divides people according to physical or cultural traits when we should be trying to bring people together?  I recall when I was reading about Islam last year, Muhammad set out to create a new tribe - the ummah - which would welcome people from all backgrounds, all races, all cultures.  

Christianity also speaks of its universality and most Christians are proponents of making the Scripture available in the variety of languages of the world.  One of my favorite biblical passages about heaven speaks of people from all tribes, all nations, all tongues gathered around God's throne praising Him together!

Is nationalism/tribalism divisive and something that needs to be erased so that we can come together as equals? Or is there a place for nationalism?

How can we balance these things? Can we have both unity and nationalism?  Individually can we be both nationalistic and unifying in our outlook? If so, how?  What are your thoughts?

The Heavenly Man

The Heavenly Man is "the remarkable true story of Chinese Christian Brother Yun" with Paul Hattaway. What a challenging book of how God is working in the lives of Christians in China to take the message of salvation to this land that wanted to stamp out religion. "By 1958 the government had closed all visible churches. Mao's wife, Jiang Qing, told foreign visitors, 'Christianity in China has been confined to the history section of the museum. It is dead and buried.' In the 1970s a visiting Christian delegation from the United States reported, 'There is not a single Christian left in China.'" How wrong they were!

God breathed life into China and the Church there has grown into "a force tens of millions strong today [and] is a sign not only of God's existence but also of His matchless power."

This book was incredible! It read like the Book of Acts ...something Western Christians often cannot grasp with our minds that God still works this way. After spending time in the West, Brother Yun remarked that there seems to be something missing from our churches. "In the West many Christians have an abundance of material possessions, yet they live in a backslidden state. They have silver and gold, but they don't rise up and walk in Jesus' name. In China we have no possessions to hold us down, so there's nothing preventing us from moving out for the Lord." Because of persecution, Brother Yun says, "It's almost impossible for the church in China to go to sleep in its present situation. There's always something to keep us on the run, and it's very difficult to sleep while you're running. If persecution stops, I fear we'll become complacent and fall asleep."

To wake up sleeping Western churches, Brother Yun says to return to the Word of God because the "truth will make you free." Also missing is obedience to the Word. "You can never really know the Scriptures until you're ready to be changed by them." He claims that "all genuine revivals of the Lord result in believers responding with action and soul winning. When God truly moves in your heart you cannot remain silent."

He recounts offerings in China where if the leader announced someone was planning to travel to a mission field the next day, the people would empty their pockets of everything for this missionary's travel expenses. This money wasn't simply all they had in their pockets, but often it was all that they possessed period.

Other interesting things besides Yun's 74-day fast without food or water, his miraculous escape from a maximum security prison, and the way God used him to lead others to Christ while imprisoned in China 3 times and Myanmar once:


* Yun said he never was much for singing, but once he accepted Jesus as Lord, he became a singer. (Psalm 40:3 "He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD." Is this why most Christians love to sing praises to the Lord?) Many times in the book, Yun shared songs he sang while in prison or with fellow believers in the house churches. This story was particularly enjoyable to me:

When I first shared at Gao Village, the Lord gave me Scripture songs to sing before the people. They wrote down the words so they could remember them.
One of the songs was taken from the Gospel of Matthew where Jesus tells us if someone strikes us on the right cheek, we should turn our other cheek to him as well. Another song taught how we are to rejoice greatly when we are persecuted for the sake of the gospel. Yet another song explained how we should never be like Judas and deny our Master.
After so many people came to Jesus at once, it caught the attention of the authorities. All the Christians in Gao Village were arrested and taken to the police station. The officers demanded to know, "Who brought the name of Jesus to you? How did you all come to believe in this superstition?"
The believers were filled with overwhelming joy. The only thing they would say was, "We won't be like Judas! We won't betray our Lord Jesus!"
The officers started to beat them and they rejoiced even more. They said, "Please, sir, hit us on the other side of the face as well!" The Christians were laughing and rejoicing.
The officers grew tired of beating them and finally said, "You Christians are all crazy!" After a final warning, they sent them all home. (page 41)

* Although the local Chinese believers take care of the families of those in prison for Christ, they are often extremely poor and cannot adequately provide. After seeing how his own family suffered while he was in prison, Yun "made a commitment to the Lord that [he] would not allow the families of any other imprisoned Christians in China to suffer similar deprivation." He has done all he can to raise support for families of those in prison for the gospel's sake. (Voice of the Martyrs has a "Family of the Martyrs" fund that helps with these types of expenses as well. I really appreciate the ministry of VOM .... see www.persecution.com.)


* "When we arrive at the end of our own strength it is not defeat, but the start of tapping into God's boundless resources. It is when we are weak that we are strong in God." (page 194)

* "In China, Christians are persecuted with beatings and imprisonments. In the West, Christians are persecuted by the words of other Christians." (page 308)

* Yun: "We are absolutely nothing. We have nothing to be proud about. We have no abilities and nothing to offer God. The fact that He chooses to use us is only due to His grace. It has nothing to do with us. If God should choose to raise up others for His purpose and never use us again we would have nothing to complain about." (p. 345)

* Deling, wife: "When I was younger I saw God as a mighty healer who did something for me, but after all these years of valleys and painful trials, Jesus has become an ever-present friend who is with me all the time. He has gone from being a historical God to being a living God to me today. I've fallen short many times during these trials and testings, but he has always been faithful. Whenever I've asked him to help me He always has. Jesus is everything and we are nothing." (p. 346)


To see Brother Yun's current involvement, check out www.backtojerusalem.com. The Chinese Christians are obeying God and are making plans for 100,000 of them to witness to the more than 2 billion people who live west and south of China in what is often referred to as the 10/40 window. They said Muslim, Hindu and Buddhist governments cannot do anything worse to them than what their own government did. If they are killed, they will be with Christ which is far better. They are learning Arabic and English now so they can go forth bringing precious souls into the family of God.