A couple months ago I wrote about Solving a DNA-Match Mystery as I awaited my aunt's DNA test results. When my dad's high Italian DNA showed up, I thought it might be a mystery I'd never solve. It's pretty well-known that a great-great-something grandmother (she was born around 1810) on the Fuqua side never married though she had several (6, I think) children. I figured whoever fathered the child who became my direct ancestor passed along his Italian DNA. But then when the Greek* surnames showed up as very close matches to me and my dad, I had to rethink things.
I puzzled it out with my family. We have a Messenger group with just my parents and siblings. My mom actually made the correct suggestion. I had been looking at my grandfather as he was a known cheater. I was trying to make it fit with him.
But my mom suggested my grandmother - my dad's mom - was the key. At first I said no because I had matches with her cousins, but then...yes, you're right, Mama. The ones missing from my list are Fuquas and Hamletts and Websters! What is the meaning of this? And...how...?
And while I can't ask my grandmother for any information since she died in October 2017 at age 91, I can make some educated guesses. All this thanks to the Ancestry DNA Matches feature plus a rather detailed online obituary.
So, I've concluded that my dad's full siblings are really half-siblings, and he's not even biologically related to all those aunts, uncles, and grandparents he grew up with! (His parents divorced when he was ten so he lived with his grandparents and was/is very close to his aunts and uncles.) He has several half-siblings plus extended family in Ohio whom we only know about thanks to the DNA testing.
I wondered how the Ohio guy and my grandmother met. Because his obituary mentions his service,
"...veteran of the U.S. Army, serving with the 82nd Airborne Division; 504th
Parachute Regiment, qualifying as a parachutist and gliderman."
I was able to look up that division and saw they are based at Fort Bragg, North Carolina! Perhaps he came through on a bus or train and met my grandmother. Or maybe he had a buddy in this area, and came here on leave. Or maybe she traveled to Fort Bragg. I'll likely never know. But I know so far two of the children and three of the grandchildren listed in his obituary are on my DNA Match list. And based on how accurate the DNA has been on all the other matches, I can't easily dismiss this!
This is already too wordy so I'll close. Feel free to ask me any questions especially if I need to clarify something.
* Although the DNA presently shows up as Italian according to Ancestry, the family is Greek with the grandparents coming from the Isle of Rhodes in the early 1900s. One of the DNA Matches (Laura) provided this information about a year ago when we chatted briefly about our close DNA connection. I've not heard from her since.
Obit
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Thursday, August 15, 2019
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Last Names, Genealogy, Ancestry Stuff
With Melania Trump in the news because she spoke at the RNC last night and, well, because she's married to Donald Trump who is unbelievably still to me The One destined to be the Republican nominee running against Hillary Clinton, I have seen stories on my Facebook feed about Slovenia, and Melania's hometown, and even Slovenians in Ohio (where the Republican National Convention is taking place.)
This reminded me of my brother in law, Will whom I've written about previously (probably more than once, but I don't have time to search my archives right now.) Not because Will is Slovenian. He's actually from Venezuela, but he has a Slovenian last name due to his aunt marrying a man from Ohio with a Slovenian last name. Mari and Wayne adopted Will when he was about fifteen so he could live with them in the United States. Will had a Spanish last name before the adoption.
I still sometimes marvel at how last names tell us about our heritage to some degree, but not always especially in the case of adoptions. And unless you are some kind of genealogist who looks at who married whom or who didn't even marry, but passed along her last name to her children, you only really have part of the picture because we forget that Prudence Cooley Truax's mom had a last name not passed down to her. So, what was it?
I ordered one of those Ancestry DNA kits recently when Ancestry.com had a sale around July 4. They are probably pretty bogus in reality (or, at least articles on Facebook tell me so...boo), but it's something I was curious enough about doing that I finally bought one. And I'm not one who buys stuff for the sake of buying things usually. I'm not a paid subscriber to Ancestry.com, however, so I can't open up all the cool records. They did invite me to begin a family tree, and some "hints" were open for me to view. I enjoyed that. Especially stuff like this which I hope to see more of one day. (Maybe I will subscribe one day and read all the stuff!)
Washington, Passenger and Crew Lists, 1882-1961
Immigration & Emigration
Vancouver, British Columbia
Arrival 17 Apr 1927 - Seattle, Washington - Age: 1
Birth 1926 - Tungjon, China
Departure Shanghai, China
Gender Male
Line 12
Name Daniel Wesley Truax
Race/Nationality Scotch
Residence China
Ship Name/Airline Empress of Canada
Daniel Truax is my beloved Pop (my mom's dad) who died four years ago. I find the Scotch race/nationality interesting. Not sure what to make of it since the family was from the United States, and Truax is a French last name.
From Ancestry.com
Also, I knew he was born to missionary parents in China (his mom is actually buried there; died at age 29 after having a daughter), but didn't realize the family traveled back to the US when he was so young.
From the Fuqua side, I found this picture of my dad's grandfather. I had seen it before, but didn't have a copy that I remembered (or if I did, I can't remember where it is) so I wanted to put it here. My brother got this grandfather's full name. My dad adored this man who raised him when his own parents divorced.
This reminded me of my brother in law, Will whom I've written about previously (probably more than once, but I don't have time to search my archives right now.) Not because Will is Slovenian. He's actually from Venezuela, but he has a Slovenian last name due to his aunt marrying a man from Ohio with a Slovenian last name. Mari and Wayne adopted Will when he was about fifteen so he could live with them in the United States. Will had a Spanish last name before the adoption.
I still sometimes marvel at how last names tell us about our heritage to some degree, but not always especially in the case of adoptions. And unless you are some kind of genealogist who looks at who married whom or who didn't even marry, but passed along her last name to her children, you only really have part of the picture because we forget that Prudence Cooley Truax's mom had a last name not passed down to her. So, what was it?
I ordered one of those Ancestry DNA kits recently when Ancestry.com had a sale around July 4. They are probably pretty bogus in reality (or, at least articles on Facebook tell me so...boo), but it's something I was curious enough about doing that I finally bought one. And I'm not one who buys stuff for the sake of buying things usually. I'm not a paid subscriber to Ancestry.com, however, so I can't open up all the cool records. They did invite me to begin a family tree, and some "hints" were open for me to view. I enjoyed that. Especially stuff like this which I hope to see more of one day. (Maybe I will subscribe one day and read all the stuff!)
Washington, Passenger and Crew Lists, 1882-1961
Immigration & Emigration
Vancouver, British Columbia
Arrival 17 Apr 1927 - Seattle, Washington - Age: 1
Birth 1926 - Tungjon, China
Departure Shanghai, China
Gender Male
Line 12
Name Daniel Wesley Truax
Race/Nationality Scotch
Residence China
Ship Name/Airline Empress of Canada
Daniel Truax is my beloved Pop (my mom's dad) who died four years ago. I find the Scotch race/nationality interesting. Not sure what to make of it since the family was from the United States, and Truax is a French last name.
From Ancestry.com
- "Truax Name Meaning
- Americanized spelling of French du Trieux, a habitational name from Trieux in Meurthe-et-Moselle, in northeastern France."
Also, I knew he was born to missionary parents in China (his mom is actually buried there; died at age 29 after having a daughter), but didn't realize the family traveled back to the US when he was so young.
From the Fuqua side, I found this picture of my dad's grandfather. I had seen it before, but didn't have a copy that I remembered (or if I did, I can't remember where it is) so I wanted to put it here. My brother got this grandfather's full name. My dad adored this man who raised him when his own parents divorced.
![]() | |
Daniel Carr Fuqua 1900-1973 |
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Tuesday, September 8, 2015
August Events
Here are some pictures and events from August. Hope you are having a great September!
1 -- spent a few hours with Sophie
2 -- Andrew and I visited Pilot Mountain State Park
5 -- swimming with Michael, Stephanie, and Zach
6 -- saw deer in the yard; Zach and I saw Superheroes at the library
18 -- started working on the book about Zach that he got for his birthday from Stephanie

20 -- outside with Sophie
21 -- trip to City Park with Zach (also went on the 13th for the first time)
22 -- day trip to Boone
August 23 -- sprayground for the last time this year; Andrew went with us
August 27 -- Zach left for the mountains, and then a trip to Disney World with his grandparents. We drew Mickey and Zach with chalk the morning before he left.
August 28-- Myrtle Beach: we had so much fun!
August 30 -- stopped by Southport for a few hours before heading home
1 -- spent a few hours with Sophie
after a bath |
2 -- Andrew and I visited Pilot Mountain State Park
see the climber? |
5 -- swimming with Michael, Stephanie, and Zach
6 -- saw deer in the yard; Zach and I saw Superheroes at the library
We saw these deer in our neighbors' yard |
Zach loved this bulletin board at the library |
18 -- started working on the book about Zach that he got for his birthday from Stephanie
20 -- outside with Sophie
notice the spider? |
21 -- trip to City Park with Zach (also went on the 13th for the first time)
going through the tunnel |
Zach made a friend, Ace |
22 -- day trip to Boone
Rough Ridge Overlook |
Beacon Heights, Blue Ridge Parkway |
Boone Fork Trail |
August 23 -- sprayground for the last time this year; Andrew went with us
August 27 -- Zach left for the mountains, and then a trip to Disney World with his grandparents. We drew Mickey and Zach with chalk the morning before he left.
Sunshine too bright |
August 28-- Myrtle Beach: we had so much fun!
A favorite spot on the Boardwalk |
August 30 -- stopped by Southport for a few hours before heading home
Selfie with the pelican |
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Grandmothers
This is her as a baby.

and as a teen in Greenville, South Carolina.
This is my dad's mother, Virginia Helen Wilson, born July 5, 1926. She will be 89 this month.
One of my cousins posted this picture of Grandma on Facebook back in March.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Visiting My Roots
In a souvenir shop |
We went on a short trip to see our friend (well, he's really family), Samer, for a few days. He told us to meet him in Paris this time, so that's what we did. The flight was supposed to leave Raleigh and connect in Atlanta, but a maintenance issue prompted me to call the Delta helpline and we got an earlier flight to Paris through Detroit. Nice. I'd never been to Michigan so it was good visiting another state even if it was just the airport. The flight over took 6.5 hours. I guess we had a good tailwind because even the airline ladies seemed surprised that it was so short. It wasn't the most comfortable trip for me, however. I desperately wanted to sleep because I knew once we got there at 7 AM local time (1 AM back home), we'd be out and about all day without resting. Alas, the more I tried to sleep, the less I did. I resigned myself to just being tired, and I was for the first bit. I felt like I could crawl up beside Napoleon's grave and just sleep for hours. Thankfully, once we got outside in the cool (but not cold) air and sunshine, I felt more alert and happy and started feeling more peppy. I was able to make it until around 10 or 11 that night and fell asleep pretty readily!
This photo is from the first day. See how upbeat I look despite not sleeping for hours? |
We had a great visit with Samer. To be honest, Andrew and I aren't big-city type people, and I probably would never choose to go to Paris because it's not a place I've ever dreamed of going. I am content hiking in the mountains or walking along the beach. That said, I really do enjoy most everywhere I've ever been. I try to see the good in each place, and enjoy what is there. And Paris had some great sights! Samer had been there before so he acted as our guide. Of course.
It was raining a bit when we got to Versailles Palace. November 5, 2013 |
One thing Andrew really wanted to do was go up to the top of the Eiffel Tower. Samer had not gone all the way to the top. I think it might have been closed last time he was there. Since Andrew wanted to, we went back to the tower one night. Actually it was the night of our visit to Versailles, and the weather had cleared so the view was great! We saw for miles and miles. Samer took some great photos (a few of which I shared on Facebook), but here is one of just the three of us that someone offered to take for us.
It was cool up there - especially the two sides where the wind was whipping! |
We did other stuff in Paris, but I won't bother with that now. (Oh, we found the American Hospital where my mom was born.) I knew Paris for 6 days would be (or could be) museum overload for at least one person in our group, so I told Samer we should probably look for another destination. He chose Belgium. He had never been to this country so it was the first one we'd all visit for the first time together. And it was lovely! We landed in Brussels, but took a couple day trips to Bruges and Ghent.
The rain in Brussels added a pretty sheen to the streets. |
Bruges had several quiet streets that we enjoyed. |
We got home Sunday night (Brussels to Atlanta to RDU - 9.5 hours, but a much more pleasant flight), and I've been trying to get my body back on North Carolina time ever since. It's 9 PM and I am ready for sleep now. I got up around 5:15 so I am tired.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
A Blogger Friend Dies & May Books
Have any of you ever lost a blogger or other online friend? To death? Sadly, this Monday Carol aka American Bedu lost
her battle with cancer. Her blog was one of the first I ever started
reading. I believe January marked five years that I have "known" her
through her blog. Interestingly enough, she was in Saudi Arabia married
to a Saudi man when we "met." But she died a widow in North Carolina
with her son and grandchildren and numerous friends loving and
supporting her. Here are a couple articles about her.
Arab News reports her death
Curious how her husband died and how she ended up in North Carolina? Such a SAD story!!
Curious how her husband died and how she ended up in North Carolina? Such a SAD story!!
Carol
wrote about Abdullah often. He seemed like a wonderful man. It's hard
to believe we'll never read any more posts from her. I was reading Susie's post
last evening, looking at Carol and Abdullah's picture together and got
teary-eyed thinking the two of them were no longer with us.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm dividing my reading between two books I received for my birthday and it's not likely I'll finish them in May. One is religious so I have to read it in digestible segments or my brain gets overwhelmed. The other is rather interesting (in a childhood-in-Russia way), but I've just not read it quickly. But these, I've finished so I'll post them now.
The Return: A Family Revisits Their Eastern European Roots by Petru Popescu -- I read one of his books last month (about how his Czech inlaws met each other in a Nazi concentration camp) and found this one about his own family's story. He talks about his life growing up in Communist Romania, and his defection to the United States. The last part is about his and his wife's trip back to Eastern Europe first visiting her family's roots in Czechoslovakia and then his return after fifteen years. Very good read. I love the story he shares about when he first came to America and almost bought catfood for himself thinking they were cans of tuna. Thankfully the ladies in the store steered him into buying people tuna, and he informed them that Romanian cats eat table scraps and mice. They seemed shocked (or so he reports.)
More from this book on Sarajevo during the war: Check out these prices: One can of Coke - $7.50; one box of chocolate chip cookies - $11; one banana - $6; coffee - 1lb. for $50; one gallon of gas - $100! Also I mentioned yesterday that Ping-Pong balls were often given for small change. Cigarettes were often given for salaries. For instance, one man received 5 packs per month for his work with the police department.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Breaking and Confirming Stereotypes
I can't even remember how we got on the subject now. All I know is that
Samer and I were talking the other day, and the subject of Americans
came up. Maybe we were talking about stereotypes because the next thing
I know, I'm jotting down notes as he lists ways I broke his stereotype
of people from the United States, and things I confirmed about it.
Oh, I may have mentioned Malik's post about differences in US thoughts of dogs compared to Arab Muslims' thoughts of dogs. And also Amber's comment about her thinking Southern culture was in some ways similar to Arab culture. I think we were talking about those topics as they tend to be some of my favorite.
Anyway, here is what I noted:
WAYS I BROKE THE STEREOTYPE: According to Samer,
* I am emotional, therefore, not the "cold Westerner" type he sees in Germany.
* I have a love for foreign stuff. I easily warm up to foreigners and am open to other points of view.
* I am not stubborn - meaning I am OK with changing my mind about things if I see that I've been wrong
* I am not brainwashed by the media
* I don't watch a lot of TV, movies, and am not overly-concerned with following celebrities.
* I am not hardheaded re: US patriotism and foreign policy
WAYS I CONFIRMED THE STEREOTYPE: According to Samer,
* I am easy-going
* I am friendly
* I like jokes
* I have an American accent
I would qualify most of these because I am not always easy-going or friendly, and sometimes I am very much stubborn. But I am thankful that Samer sees me in a good light most days.
(Good thing this topic didn't come up the day I was ranting about Patricia Roush's daughters being stolen by her Saudi ex-husband because I wasn't very nice about men, Arabs, Muslims, the idea that children belong to their fathers, or mixed-cultural relationships that day. Thankfully Samer is forgiving ... )
Have you ever had a foreign friend who shared how you either confirmed or broke stereotypes he or she had of people from the United States (or where ever you are from)? What was on your list? What things do you believe most foreigners have right about your people? Wrong?
Oh, I may have mentioned Malik's post about differences in US thoughts of dogs compared to Arab Muslims' thoughts of dogs. And also Amber's comment about her thinking Southern culture was in some ways similar to Arab culture. I think we were talking about those topics as they tend to be some of my favorite.
Anyway, here is what I noted:
WAYS I BROKE THE STEREOTYPE: According to Samer,
* I am emotional, therefore, not the "cold Westerner" type he sees in Germany.
* I have a love for foreign stuff. I easily warm up to foreigners and am open to other points of view.
* I am not stubborn - meaning I am OK with changing my mind about things if I see that I've been wrong
* I am not brainwashed by the media
* I don't watch a lot of TV, movies, and am not overly-concerned with following celebrities.
* I am not hardheaded re: US patriotism and foreign policy
WAYS I CONFIRMED THE STEREOTYPE: According to Samer,
* I am easy-going
* I am friendly
* I like jokes
* I have an American accent
I would qualify most of these because I am not always easy-going or friendly, and sometimes I am very much stubborn. But I am thankful that Samer sees me in a good light most days.
(Good thing this topic didn't come up the day I was ranting about Patricia Roush's daughters being stolen by her Saudi ex-husband because I wasn't very nice about men, Arabs, Muslims, the idea that children belong to their fathers, or mixed-cultural relationships that day. Thankfully Samer is forgiving ... )
Have you ever had a foreign friend who shared how you either confirmed or broke stereotypes he or she had of people from the United States (or where ever you are from)? What was on your list? What things do you believe most foreigners have right about your people? Wrong?
Labels:
Arabs,
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friends,
life,
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Monday, October 8, 2012
Five!
Just think five years ago right now, I didn't even know how my life would change the next day when I opened a private message "From Damascus" that was sent to me on a MySpace account I'd had all of three months. I mentioned the Middle East on my profile, and something must have prompted Samer to contact me. His note was a slight challenge, albeit very polite.
On October 9, 2007 I read the message, wrote him back, and he wrote me back within an hour. It was during Ramadan so he was up despite the seven hour time difference. I remember wondering if he were legit. What are the odds that some Muslim Arab guy in Syria would write me? Was he one of those internet weirdos they warn you about on the news?
Maybe so, but we became fast friends. Family really. And I'm thankful for three times we've met in real life. Once in Syria (where we met his mom, brothers and sister, and friends) and twice now in Germany.
I'm thankful to God for what he has taught me - and where He has taken me - through knowing Samer!
On October 9, 2007 I read the message, wrote him back, and he wrote me back within an hour. It was during Ramadan so he was up despite the seven hour time difference. I remember wondering if he were legit. What are the odds that some Muslim Arab guy in Syria would write me? Was he one of those internet weirdos they warn you about on the news?
Maybe so, but we became fast friends. Family really. And I'm thankful for three times we've met in real life. Once in Syria (where we met his mom, brothers and sister, and friends) and twice now in Germany.
I'm thankful to God for what he has taught me - and where He has taken me - through knowing Samer!
Eagle's Nest - August 2012 |
Labels:
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Saturday, July 28, 2012
Swiss Lady in Masai Territory
This is why I asked all those questions about marrying into another culture the other day. (Thank you to all who commented!) I think I was still in disbelief about how this book ended, about the trouble Corinne encountered and how if what she wrote is true**, I could not have stayed either. And although I get infatuated with other cultures and people from other countries pretty quickly, I don't believe I would have married someone like this in the first place. I suppose my practical side is just too strong in some matters.
SPOILER ALERT: If you want to read this book, this may tell you too much information.
The White Masai by Corinne Hofmann -- A Swiss lady goes to Kenya with her live-in boyfriend, sees a beautiful Masai warrior, realizes she's in love with this long, lean man, and decides to go back to Kenya with the goal of living there with him. They don't even speak the same language! As in, no common language because she knows very little English and neither does he. Forget his knowing German or her knowing his tribal language.
After reading the first chapter or two, I was laughing at myself for reading such a book, but I stuck it out. And it was pretty interesting. I did enjoy the cultural aspects, and mentioning the Samburu was great since Andrew had his own experiences with them just last December when he went to South Horr. In fact when they talked about a wedding ceremony, slaughtering goats, drinking the blood, and the circumcision ceremony, I had pictures and tales from Andrew's trip to help me visualize what Corinne experienced.
By the way, Corinne refused the cliterodectomy when she had her marriage ceremony. Her husband told the tribe that white women had that done as babies so Corinne wouldn't have to undergo this rite of passage.
Some things I learned: warriors cannot eat meat that women prepare although they can drink tea - and they like it plenty sweet. Masai don't kiss - the mouth is for eating. Never ever ever use both hands while eating. Everyone will stop and a hush will come over the crowd as they stare at you for violating social norms. When Corinne brought a brown baby doll to someone as a gift, the little girl ran away and even the grandmother recoiled in horror. "Is this really a dead baby?" they wondered. This book showed how frustrating it is to own a vehicle in Kenya - or at that time anyway. I remember Andrew speaking of how bad the roads were and how often tires needed changing. You just expect delays from flat tires when you go anywhere there, I suppose.
I think the greatest lesson I learned from this book is to make sure of the other person before you invade his culture. While I admire Corinne's sincere attempts to fit in, I was struck even more with how difficult cross cultural marriages can be - especially when there are such vast differences. (Or maybe her husband truly was crazy.) There are sequels to this book so maybe things turned out better in the long run.
** I realize, too, that I never got to hear the Masai warrior's point of view, his perspective since he didn't write a book. I don't think he could have. He didn't know how to read or write much.
SPOILER ALERT: If you want to read this book, this may tell you too much information.
The White Masai by Corinne Hofmann -- A Swiss lady goes to Kenya with her live-in boyfriend, sees a beautiful Masai warrior, realizes she's in love with this long, lean man, and decides to go back to Kenya with the goal of living there with him. They don't even speak the same language! As in, no common language because she knows very little English and neither does he. Forget his knowing German or her knowing his tribal language.
After reading the first chapter or two, I was laughing at myself for reading such a book, but I stuck it out. And it was pretty interesting. I did enjoy the cultural aspects, and mentioning the Samburu was great since Andrew had his own experiences with them just last December when he went to South Horr. In fact when they talked about a wedding ceremony, slaughtering goats, drinking the blood, and the circumcision ceremony, I had pictures and tales from Andrew's trip to help me visualize what Corinne experienced.
By the way, Corinne refused the cliterodectomy when she had her marriage ceremony. Her husband told the tribe that white women had that done as babies so Corinne wouldn't have to undergo this rite of passage.
Some things I learned: warriors cannot eat meat that women prepare although they can drink tea - and they like it plenty sweet. Masai don't kiss - the mouth is for eating. Never ever ever use both hands while eating. Everyone will stop and a hush will come over the crowd as they stare at you for violating social norms. When Corinne brought a brown baby doll to someone as a gift, the little girl ran away and even the grandmother recoiled in horror. "Is this really a dead baby?" they wondered. This book showed how frustrating it is to own a vehicle in Kenya - or at that time anyway. I remember Andrew speaking of how bad the roads were and how often tires needed changing. You just expect delays from flat tires when you go anywhere there, I suppose.
I think the greatest lesson I learned from this book is to make sure of the other person before you invade his culture. While I admire Corinne's sincere attempts to fit in, I was struck even more with how difficult cross cultural marriages can be - especially when there are such vast differences. (Or maybe her husband truly was crazy.) There are sequels to this book so maybe things turned out better in the long run.
** I realize, too, that I never got to hear the Masai warrior's point of view, his perspective since he didn't write a book. I don't think he could have. He didn't know how to read or write much.
Labels:
books,
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Friday, July 15, 2011
Jesus: Confronting Racism in His Hometown
Have you ever had the kind of relationship where things were going really well as far as you could tell? Outwardly things were great. You were praised for your intelligence and tolerance. You were well-liked. You were thought of as amazingly sweet and witty and merciful.
So you didn't want to rock the boat by bringing up anything negative. Like the fact your friend generalized all Muslims as women-hating terrorists or referred to Christians as unclean or Jews as apes. Maybe she used offensive words to describe black people or the Mexican family living down the street.
You wanted to bask in the glow of knowing you were charming.
It's not your place to confront people and challenge them on their bad traits after all. How intolerant would that be?
Luke tells this story about Jesus.
So far, so good. Jesus returned to his hometown, spoke in the synagogue and amazed his people. Why did he not sit there, bask in their affirming words and share a smile with his mother who was probably beaming with pride at her son?
He'd had his say. He'd gotten their attention. He'd made himself known. Was there any need to continue? To challenge them..with this...?
My gracious, what just happened?!
Why did the hometown crowd go from being amazed by Jesus' gracious words to wanting to throw him off the cliff? What was so offensive about bringing up the widow in Zarephath and Naaman the Syrian?
Was Jesus confronting racism? If so, why was this important? What possible good could have come out of his deliberate stirring up this Nazarene crowd?
What do you think?
So you didn't want to rock the boat by bringing up anything negative. Like the fact your friend generalized all Muslims as women-hating terrorists or referred to Christians as unclean or Jews as apes. Maybe she used offensive words to describe black people or the Mexican family living down the street.
You wanted to bask in the glow of knowing you were charming.
It's not your place to confront people and challenge them on their bad traits after all. How intolerant would that be?
Luke tells this story about Jesus.
14 Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. 15 He was teaching in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.
16 He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. He stood up to read, 17 and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
20 Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. 21 He began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”
22 All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips. “Isn’t this Joseph’s son?” they asked.
So far, so good. Jesus returned to his hometown, spoke in the synagogue and amazed his people. Why did he not sit there, bask in their affirming words and share a smile with his mother who was probably beaming with pride at her son?
He'd had his say. He'd gotten their attention. He'd made himself known. Was there any need to continue? To challenge them..with this...?
23 Jesus said to them, “Surely you will quote this proverb to me: ‘Physician, heal yourself!’ And you will tell me, ‘Do here in your hometown what we have heard that you did in Capernaum.’”
24 “Truly I tell you,” he continued, “no prophet is accepted in his hometown. 25 I assure you that there were many widows in Israel in Elijah’s time, when the sky was shut for three and a half years and there was a severe famine throughout the land. 26 Yet Elijah was not sent to any of them, but to a widow in Zarephath in the region of Sidon. 27 And there were many in Israel with leprosy in the time of Elisha the prophet, yet not one of them was cleansed—only Naaman the Syrian.”
28 All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. 29 They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him off the cliff. 30 But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way.
My gracious, what just happened?!
Why did the hometown crowd go from being amazed by Jesus' gracious words to wanting to throw him off the cliff? What was so offensive about bringing up the widow in Zarephath and Naaman the Syrian?
Was Jesus confronting racism? If so, why was this important? What possible good could have come out of his deliberate stirring up this Nazarene crowd?
What do you think?
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Tuesday, July 12, 2011
New Book and Blogs, Lack of Women and White Folks, Bible Stuff and Single Moms (though married)
Ah, I have so much on my mind, but don't know where to start. Some days I go through droughts with not much worth sharing, but then I go through, um, spouts where I have too much. It's not that stuff I want to share is oh-so-fascinating especially to you, but it's just thoughts that come to mind. So maybe this post should just briefly mention those things and maybe I'll "flesh 'em out" in later posts if the mood strikes.
I started a new book, The Rise of Christianity by Rodney Stark. He's not a historian, but a sociologist and he's trying to answer the question about Christianity's rise from that perspective. It's slightly technical at times when he gets into the arithmetic part, but I am enjoying much of the cultural tidbits very much! His main question is this: "How did a tiny and obscure messianic movement from the edge of the Roman Empire dislodge classical paganism and become the dominant faith of Western civilization?" He explores such things as primary (often women) and secondary (often their husbands) conversions, social networks, epidemics, status of women, fertility, conversion of Jews being higher than we think, Christians being from all social groups not only slaves. Well, those are the ones I've read about so far. I'm about halfway through the book.
Just a bit ago I read some interesting facts about the declining birthrate and how the Roman Empire was giving incentives to men who would father at least three children. The Roman Empire so very much needed its citizens to have higher fertility rates that many emperors imposed "political and financial sanctions upon childless couples, upon unmarried women over the age of twenty, and upon unmarried men over the age of twenty-five." Perhaps if their male to female ratio were not 131 to 100 due to infanticide (killing mostly unwanted female infants), this would not have been such a problem.
The declining birthrate thing reminded me of this post Why Tanning, Barbie and God Forbid Belgian Chocolate May Disappear In the Future? by a Jordanian-Syrian man living in the United States. If you don't want to read the post, it's so titled because of the declining rate of white people in the world. There is a reason places like Germany are inviting other nationalities into the country to study basically free of charge.
By the way, that blog is one that I started reading this week and have found most interesting. I especially love when Malik shares cultural tidbits from both the US and Arab world. I enjoyed reading his Arab perspective on the 4th of July, for instance.
Another blog about a serious topic is this new one by a Jordanian who is speaking out about childhood sexual abuse. Visit Mohammed's blog here and lend him your support if you wish.
In other news, I was reading through Luke 2-4 recently and kept getting stopped by patterns I was noticing. And then today I started rereading some things in those chapters and ended up visiting Deuteronomy and Exodus and three places in Isaiah because my Bible had links back to those places. I was reminded again that I love Isaiah 40 and need to read it more often.
Note to self: write a post about Luke 4:14-30 and why Jesus didn't just leave well enough alone. They liked him and were amazed by him so why challenge them to the extent they want to throw you off a cliff?
Random thought that came to mind as I was driving the other day: I think I'd heard a story about single parenting and how many children are growing up in poverty due to mainly a lack of fathers. Then my mind went to polygynous families and how even if you have only one other wife, you've perhaps made your wives single mothers half the time. I guess unless you live with both wives and all the children in one household. But for those men who have two separate households and maybe spend one week with Jane and her kids following by a week with Cara and her kids...that reminds me of the children I've always felt sorry for because their divorced parents had joint custody meaning they had to live one week at mom's followed by one week at dad's. I assume the children get used to it, but it seemed rather dreadful to me. Only with polygyny, it's the man of the householdS who must move from place to place.
Which lead me to wonder if that's OK really. After all what is the father's role besides providing for his family? If he is providing for Jane and her kids sufficiently why not also have a life with Cara and her kids if he can provide materialistically for them just the same?
QUESTION FOR YOU: What roles did your father/grandfather have in your household? What about your husbands and adult brothers? The men in your life? Are they only useful for fathering children and then providing for them? Or do they have other roles that would be missed if they were gone 50% of the time to non-work-related things? Granted I know even in monogamous relationships, fathers can essentially make their wives into single mothers because they work too many hours or they pursue too many hobbies outside the household. Too much golf or fishing or maybe even just sitting in front of the television while the wife does all the child-rearing stuff.
The only other thing on my mind is remnants and I'll not talk about that now since this post is long and rambling enough.
Hope all are well! And, can it be that Zach is ten weeks old today?
I started a new book, The Rise of Christianity by Rodney Stark. He's not a historian, but a sociologist and he's trying to answer the question about Christianity's rise from that perspective. It's slightly technical at times when he gets into the arithmetic part, but I am enjoying much of the cultural tidbits very much! His main question is this: "How did a tiny and obscure messianic movement from the edge of the Roman Empire dislodge classical paganism and become the dominant faith of Western civilization?" He explores such things as primary (often women) and secondary (often their husbands) conversions, social networks, epidemics, status of women, fertility, conversion of Jews being higher than we think, Christians being from all social groups not only slaves. Well, those are the ones I've read about so far. I'm about halfway through the book.
Just a bit ago I read some interesting facts about the declining birthrate and how the Roman Empire was giving incentives to men who would father at least three children. The Roman Empire so very much needed its citizens to have higher fertility rates that many emperors imposed "political and financial sanctions upon childless couples, upon unmarried women over the age of twenty, and upon unmarried men over the age of twenty-five." Perhaps if their male to female ratio were not 131 to 100 due to infanticide (killing mostly unwanted female infants), this would not have been such a problem.
The declining birthrate thing reminded me of this post Why Tanning, Barbie and God Forbid Belgian Chocolate May Disappear In the Future? by a Jordanian-Syrian man living in the United States. If you don't want to read the post, it's so titled because of the declining rate of white people in the world. There is a reason places like Germany are inviting other nationalities into the country to study basically free of charge.
By the way, that blog is one that I started reading this week and have found most interesting. I especially love when Malik shares cultural tidbits from both the US and Arab world. I enjoyed reading his Arab perspective on the 4th of July, for instance.
Another blog about a serious topic is this new one by a Jordanian who is speaking out about childhood sexual abuse. Visit Mohammed's blog here and lend him your support if you wish.
In other news, I was reading through Luke 2-4 recently and kept getting stopped by patterns I was noticing. And then today I started rereading some things in those chapters and ended up visiting Deuteronomy and Exodus and three places in Isaiah because my Bible had links back to those places. I was reminded again that I love Isaiah 40 and need to read it more often.
Note to self: write a post about Luke 4:14-30 and why Jesus didn't just leave well enough alone. They liked him and were amazed by him so why challenge them to the extent they want to throw you off a cliff?
Random thought that came to mind as I was driving the other day: I think I'd heard a story about single parenting and how many children are growing up in poverty due to mainly a lack of fathers. Then my mind went to polygynous families and how even if you have only one other wife, you've perhaps made your wives single mothers half the time. I guess unless you live with both wives and all the children in one household. But for those men who have two separate households and maybe spend one week with Jane and her kids following by a week with Cara and her kids...that reminds me of the children I've always felt sorry for because their divorced parents had joint custody meaning they had to live one week at mom's followed by one week at dad's. I assume the children get used to it, but it seemed rather dreadful to me. Only with polygyny, it's the man of the householdS who must move from place to place.
Which lead me to wonder if that's OK really. After all what is the father's role besides providing for his family? If he is providing for Jane and her kids sufficiently why not also have a life with Cara and her kids if he can provide materialistically for them just the same?
QUESTION FOR YOU: What roles did your father/grandfather have in your household? What about your husbands and adult brothers? The men in your life? Are they only useful for fathering children and then providing for them? Or do they have other roles that would be missed if they were gone 50% of the time to non-work-related things? Granted I know even in monogamous relationships, fathers can essentially make their wives into single mothers because they work too many hours or they pursue too many hobbies outside the household. Too much golf or fishing or maybe even just sitting in front of the television while the wife does all the child-rearing stuff.
The only other thing on my mind is remnants and I'll not talk about that now since this post is long and rambling enough.
Hope all are well! And, can it be that Zach is ten weeks old today?
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Sunday, July 10, 2011
Last Notes and Lessons Learned from Stories of Jews in Muslim Lands
Last notes from In Ishmael's House: A History of the Jews in Muslim Lands by Martin Gilbert.
I finished the book! Ah, what an interesting read. Definitely a side of the story I'd never heard especially the part pertaining to how the Jews were treated in Muslim lands leading up to and after Israel was created. What a mess! Several times I got the impression that Arabs were simply frustrated at the British presence (like in Egypt) and angered by the creation of Israel so they took out their hostility on the local Jews. It is no different than Americans' mistreatment of Japanese living in the United States during World War II and blaming American Muslims for the sins of Al Qaeda or a rogue Muslim extremist. Or even our bombing of Iraq for what 19 mostly Saudi nationals did on 9/11. It's sad that the human race is such that we take out our wrath on innocent people when we feel injustice has taken place and we are lusting for revenge or dignity or whatever term we use to justify "making someone pay!"
Yesterday's post left off with Iraq and since then I've read about Egypt and the 1954 Lavon Affair in which the Israeli intelligence agency along with at least one Israeli Government Minister tried to implicate the Muslim Brotherhood in acts of terror! "The plan was to have Israeli agents explode bombs against Egyptian, American and British targets while at the same time making the attacks look like a Muslim Brotherhood operation." (pg. 253) I suppose you can guess that this plan's failure only increased the difficulty for Egyptian Jews.
Oh, and also in my last post I talked about the Arab mistreatment of Jews only bolstered Israel, right? If his stats are correct, the author states around 75% of the immigrants to Israel were from Muslim countries and not Europe where (I am assuming) the root of the problem started! Weird how that works. Interesting tidbit: even though the white, 'westernized' Jews make up only around a quarter of the Jewish population in Israel, most all of the big-time leaders have been from this group. The author said the Ashkenazis often looked at Jews from Arab countries - the Sephardi - as "primitive" and "fit mainly for manual labour and domestic service." (pg. 311) Racism exists from Jews towards Jews. Imagine.
Also I wondered yesterday why Arab countries would allow so many Jews to leave for Israel. Well continuing the book, I found not all of them did. Syria, for example, basically trapped their Jewish population for decades. Finally in the 1990s after much international pressure, President Hafez al-Assad agreed that "all 3,886 Jews in Syria were free to leave -- for anywhere but Israel." (pg. 308) Some Arab countries were similar in not allowing travel to Israel while others like Tunisia, Algeria and Morocco seemed fine with it.
The last chapter discussed the roughly 50,000 Jews still living in Muslim lands today. Many of those are in Iran, by the way. (Jews in Persia predate Christianity and Islam.) The ones that made me smile most were stories of the one Afghan Jew who stays because he wants to represent the Jewish culture that was there for a thousand years and the three Jews, the Pinchas family, in Kamishli, Syria. Also I think it's cute that two Jews are registered to vote in Sidon, Lebanon.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are two final stories I wanted to share. One good, one bad. They represent to me much of the last half of the book which dealt with quite a bit more of modern Jewish/Muslim history than I recall from Zachary Karabell's book last year. (Karabell seemed to detail more of the older history while this book dealt more with modern times.)
After some problems in Egypt between the Muslims who took out their anger for the creation of the State of Israel on local Jews ...
"In spite of the return to order, an Egyptian Arab wrote a revealing letter to the Bourse égyptienne newspaper on July 22: 'It would seem that most people in Egypt are unaware of the fact that among Egyptian Moslems there are some who have white skin,' he wrote. 'Every time I board a tram I see people pointing at me and saying "Jew, Jew." I have been beaten more than once because of this. For that reason I humbly beg that my picture (enclosed) be published with an explanation that I am not Jewish and that my name is Adham Mustafa Galeb.'" (pg. 225)
YET ...
"Amidst all the political turmoil, incitement and violence, relations between Muslims and Jew were still possible. In the Aboukir internment camp, Egyptian-born Abraham Matalon met the leader of the Muslim Brotherhood in Alexandria, who had also been imprisoned. 'At first,' Matalon remembered later, 'I didn't know he was a member. We embraced, and we started meeting every day. He said he wanted to learn Hebrew, and I wanted to learn Koran, so this is how we spent our time. I wanted to have a dialogue with the Muslims, and they loved me for it! I did the call to prayer in the camp and the soldiers admired it, they even answered me. And they knew I was a Zionist, but they did not manifest any attitudes against me. They said we are friends in life. When you come to talk to your enemy, you see that he is a different person, you can see his human side." (pg.221)
Perhaps we can learn lessons from the stories I shared from this book. Thoughts?
I finished the book! Ah, what an interesting read. Definitely a side of the story I'd never heard especially the part pertaining to how the Jews were treated in Muslim lands leading up to and after Israel was created. What a mess! Several times I got the impression that Arabs were simply frustrated at the British presence (like in Egypt) and angered by the creation of Israel so they took out their hostility on the local Jews. It is no different than Americans' mistreatment of Japanese living in the United States during World War II and blaming American Muslims for the sins of Al Qaeda or a rogue Muslim extremist. Or even our bombing of Iraq for what 19 mostly Saudi nationals did on 9/11. It's sad that the human race is such that we take out our wrath on innocent people when we feel injustice has taken place and we are lusting for revenge or dignity or whatever term we use to justify "making someone pay!"
Yesterday's post left off with Iraq and since then I've read about Egypt and the 1954 Lavon Affair in which the Israeli intelligence agency along with at least one Israeli Government Minister tried to implicate the Muslim Brotherhood in acts of terror! "The plan was to have Israeli agents explode bombs against Egyptian, American and British targets while at the same time making the attacks look like a Muslim Brotherhood operation." (pg. 253) I suppose you can guess that this plan's failure only increased the difficulty for Egyptian Jews.
Oh, and also in my last post I talked about the Arab mistreatment of Jews only bolstered Israel, right? If his stats are correct, the author states around 75% of the immigrants to Israel were from Muslim countries and not Europe where (I am assuming) the root of the problem started! Weird how that works. Interesting tidbit: even though the white, 'westernized' Jews make up only around a quarter of the Jewish population in Israel, most all of the big-time leaders have been from this group. The author said the Ashkenazis often looked at Jews from Arab countries - the Sephardi - as "primitive" and "fit mainly for manual labour and domestic service." (pg. 311) Racism exists from Jews towards Jews. Imagine.
Also I wondered yesterday why Arab countries would allow so many Jews to leave for Israel. Well continuing the book, I found not all of them did. Syria, for example, basically trapped their Jewish population for decades. Finally in the 1990s after much international pressure, President Hafez al-Assad agreed that "all 3,886 Jews in Syria were free to leave -- for anywhere but Israel." (pg. 308) Some Arab countries were similar in not allowing travel to Israel while others like Tunisia, Algeria and Morocco seemed fine with it.
The last chapter discussed the roughly 50,000 Jews still living in Muslim lands today. Many of those are in Iran, by the way. (Jews in Persia predate Christianity and Islam.) The ones that made me smile most were stories of the one Afghan Jew who stays because he wants to represent the Jewish culture that was there for a thousand years and the three Jews, the Pinchas family, in Kamishli, Syria. Also I think it's cute that two Jews are registered to vote in Sidon, Lebanon.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are two final stories I wanted to share. One good, one bad. They represent to me much of the last half of the book which dealt with quite a bit more of modern Jewish/Muslim history than I recall from Zachary Karabell's book last year. (Karabell seemed to detail more of the older history while this book dealt more with modern times.)
After some problems in Egypt between the Muslims who took out their anger for the creation of the State of Israel on local Jews ...
"In spite of the return to order, an Egyptian Arab wrote a revealing letter to the Bourse égyptienne newspaper on July 22: 'It would seem that most people in Egypt are unaware of the fact that among Egyptian Moslems there are some who have white skin,' he wrote. 'Every time I board a tram I see people pointing at me and saying "Jew, Jew." I have been beaten more than once because of this. For that reason I humbly beg that my picture (enclosed) be published with an explanation that I am not Jewish and that my name is Adham Mustafa Galeb.'" (pg. 225)
YET ...
"Amidst all the political turmoil, incitement and violence, relations between Muslims and Jew were still possible. In the Aboukir internment camp, Egyptian-born Abraham Matalon met the leader of the Muslim Brotherhood in Alexandria, who had also been imprisoned. 'At first,' Matalon remembered later, 'I didn't know he was a member. We embraced, and we started meeting every day. He said he wanted to learn Hebrew, and I wanted to learn Koran, so this is how we spent our time. I wanted to have a dialogue with the Muslims, and they loved me for it! I did the call to prayer in the camp and the soldiers admired it, they even answered me. And they knew I was a Zionist, but they did not manifest any attitudes against me. They said we are friends in life. When you come to talk to your enemy, you see that he is a different person, you can see his human side." (pg.221)
Perhaps we can learn lessons from the stories I shared from this book. Thoughts?
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Friday, June 3, 2011
Comparing African American Muslims with Immigrant Muslims
I don't know why I find this type of information interesting. I guess I like learning of others' experiences and why they think and act and believe as they do. This is a continuation of Wednesday's post about African American Muslims as told by anthropologist Akbar Ahmed in Journey Into America. This post compares African Americans with immigrant Muslims from the Arab lands and Southeast Asia.
Most African American Muslims that the team met were - in Mr. Ahmed's opinion - very likable, outgoing and "ready to receive us with a big smile and embrace." He contrasted this with immigrant imams who "tended to be defensive" (because of what the community had endured in recent years) and often "surly and rude to [team] members" trying to set up appointments. One immigrant imam in Las Vegas was so "abusive" to a female team member she was in tears! (Note: he generalized this way so maybe this was his overall impression though I am sure not all AA's were likable nor all immigrant imams bullies.)
One of the most interesting parts to me was when the black community shared how they were treated by Muslim immigrants from Arabia or Southeast Asia: "they see us through white eyes." One lady shared how she traveled to Egypt only to be dismayed that she was treated there like she was in "mainstream America." Many found it irritating how immigrants would criticize their Islam and tell, for example, how the African American women were not wearing their headcovering in the correct way (i.e., according to Arab culture). Constance, one black woman, retorted that that "'reflects your culture, not mine.'" Many folks were irritated with the way immigrants assumed that America and Islam were incompatible and when immigrants criticized the African Americans for doing certain things they considered American and not Islamic. "Constance had an answer for this: 'I am American,' she said with pride and some attitude."
![]() |
Of course the picture I chose has this AA Muslim wearing hijab the 'right' (i.e., Arab) way, I think |
Besides what I mentioned above, here are some differences between the two communities that Ahmed summarized.
For African American Muslims, Islam means tackling issues of health, education, violence, drugs, and poverty.
For immigrants, by and large better educated and more prosperous than African American Muslims, Islam is about uniting the ummah, or the global community of Muslims, and rallying the world behind the suppressed Muslim minorities in Palestine, Kashmir, and Chechnya.
For African American Muslims, Islam is a simple and functional way of life, directly related to the example of the Prophet Muhammad as a social reformer.
For immigrants, Islam is a complex, grand, overarching historical experience initiated by the Prophet and the inspiration for splendid empires and dynasties.
African American role models are mostly contemporary American figures such as Muhammad Ali, Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, and Imam W.D. Mohammed.
Immigrant role models are mainly Arab and lived in the distant past, such as the Prophet of Islam, Umar, Ali, and Saladin.
The Islam of African Americans is arrived at through personal choice, a process of trial and error, and is valued for its own sake.
The Islam of immigrant Muslims is part of an unbroken line passing through the generations and is their inheritance. The latter therefore take possessive ownerships of Islam with an air of superiority over other Muslims, which African American Muslims find arrogant and irritating.
Mr. Ahmed told how 9/11 had actually helped bring the two communities together. The "rich" doctors and engineer immigrants were suddenly being scrutinized by the government so they turned to the African American Muslims to help them deal with the problems black people had had from the government for generations.
I tend to read blogs of either Muslim converts who are white and western like me or Arabs so I really enjoyed learning about African American Muslims in this chapter and how they compared to and related to immigrants who come sharing the same religion, but not necessarily understanding it and using it in the same ways.
info and quotes from chapter 4 and the first pages of chapter 5
Friday, May 13, 2011
On My Southern Belle Qualifications
So yesterday I was posting something on Facebook that made me find a picture of the Cowardly Lion for my friend, Nasr.
Somehow that lead me to showing Samer a clip from The Wizard of Oz since he'd never seen this movie before.
This lead to our speaking of Gone with the Wind. Oh yes, I think we were talking about how people in old-timey movies had odd accents. Samer showed me this clip from Citizen Kane and we discussed whether Americans still talked this way.
We decided no.
So that's what lead to Gone with the Wind. Because Samer is enamoured with southern accents and I was trying to find a movie displaying this most charming characteristic of genuine Southernness.
I think he started reading more about this movie because soon he asked me what a Southern belle was.
"Look it up and tell me what you find," says bossy Susie (who was on the floor recording some donations for work.)
Samer obeys. (Who says men aren't trainable?)
"Susie, let me see if this describes you." So he started reading the Wikipedia article out loud.
We concluded that I didn't fit the description and Samer was glad. According to this article, I would not be allowed to talk to him since he's not "white."
Amber did a cute post about Southern Culture for outsiders. It is a compilation of things she and her friends came up with one night as they were discussing the subject.
I just wanted to record this because I found the whole conversation rather cute. Especially when Samer reminded me that I sometimes yell.
Bless his heart.
![]() |
I'll leave it to your imagination why I thought of cowardly lions. |
Somehow that lead me to showing Samer a clip from The Wizard of Oz since he'd never seen this movie before.
This lead to our speaking of Gone with the Wind. Oh yes, I think we were talking about how people in old-timey movies had odd accents. Samer showed me this clip from Citizen Kane and we discussed whether Americans still talked this way.
We decided no.
So that's what lead to Gone with the Wind. Because Samer is enamoured with southern accents and I was trying to find a movie displaying this most charming characteristic of genuine Southernness.
I think he started reading more about this movie because soon he asked me what a Southern belle was.
"Look it up and tell me what you find," says bossy Susie (who was on the floor recording some donations for work.)
Samer obeys. (Who says men aren't trainable?)
"Susie, let me see if this describes you." So he started reading the Wikipedia article out loud.
A southern belle (derived from the French word belle, 'beautiful') is an archetype for a young woman of the American Old South's upper class.
A southern belle had a lot of rules in order to behave. Pants/trousers were not allowed on girls; they always had to wear a dress that covered their ankles and their wrists. Not doing so would result in accusations of being a tomboy, a prostitute and in some cases a lesbian. These rules became more relaxed in the 1940's when most of the men were fighting in the war, and companies began to hire women to do the work in the men's absence.
Speaking to someone who was not white, rich, or properly dressed was taboo for young girls, as well as talking about bodily functions and sexual themes. Even the word "pregnant" was banned for little girls to say, considering the word vulgar.
Women could never raise their voices at all. [Here Samer inserted, "This stuff sounds like the Middle East!" and then, "Nope, Susie, this isn't you. You yell sometimes!"] They always had to be kind and polite to everyone they meet. When talking to others, women had to use proper grammar at all times and to never say swear words. Getting into rough, physical fights was only permitted for young boys and never girls.
We concluded that I didn't fit the description and Samer was glad. According to this article, I would not be allowed to talk to him since he's not "white."
![]() |
My sweet Arab friend in Switzerland - March 2010 |
Amber did a cute post about Southern Culture for outsiders. It is a compilation of things she and her friends came up with one night as they were discussing the subject.
I just wanted to record this because I found the whole conversation rather cute. Especially when Samer reminded me that I sometimes yell.
![]() |
Who meeee? |
Bless his heart.
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Sunday, May 8, 2011
Yearning for something more
It's uncanny how often at least one article in the InTouch magazine speaks to me each month. Often it's more than one. I have oftentimes thought God uses it to speak to my heart about certain issues. It's quite amazing how often articles in it correlate with things I'm struggling with or trying to understand better.
In the May 2011 issue, this article from Sharon Hersh was the one I dog-eared. I decided to look for it online and found it! I'll only share this excerpt, but you can read the whole thing here if you'd like.
I don't feel I have a lot of painful past relationships that I need to work through, but I could relate to this yearning aspect and the thought that "if only I could do this, I would be satisfied." Truly I know that's not what satisfies people, but isn't it crazy how we know this on some level yet keep hoping for more on the off chance that this one last thing, relationship or experience truly will be the key to satisfying our souls?
Does anyone else ever long for things or am I the only one? Do you thirst for more or are you satisfied?
In the May 2011 issue, this article from Sharon Hersh was the one I dog-eared. I decided to look for it online and found it! I'll only share this excerpt, but you can read the whole thing here if you'd like.
Take a moment to think about what your relationships would look like—especially the hard ones—if they were images hanging on the wall. Even if some evoke feelings of sadness, shame, anger, or disappointment, isn’t there something else within them as well? In and out, around, and through all of our foolish scheming, desire tugs at our hearts. We mistakenly believe this yearning is calling us to something merely external. It seems as though what we seek exists just around the corner, but when we get there, it’s gone.
Our longing for connection is so strong that even after turning the corner a thousand times, we’re compelled to hope with each new opportunity, even if in a small way, This is going to be the “one”—the experience that works, that will fulfill me.
Yet as Augustine wisely noted, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee, O Lord.” It’s humbling to realize that God designed this need to compel us toward His love. He created us with a thirst for communion with Him. But that desire often gets confused by life’s struggles and disappointments, especially when we rely solely upon others to satisfy it. Confusion, frustration, and disappointment remain constant in the midst of romances and friendships that come and go.
I don't feel I have a lot of painful past relationships that I need to work through, but I could relate to this yearning aspect and the thought that "if only I could do this, I would be satisfied." Truly I know that's not what satisfies people, but isn't it crazy how we know this on some level yet keep hoping for more on the off chance that this one last thing, relationship or experience truly will be the key to satisfying our souls?
Does anyone else ever long for things or am I the only one? Do you thirst for more or are you satisfied?
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Thursday, April 14, 2011
How Much "Otherness" Can You Handle?
I finished reading the book on the Greeks the other day and last night was looking through the 60+ pieces of art included in the picture section. Three times the author makes mention of the Greeks' disgust with physical deformity and how the statues wouldn't show, say, an Amazon who cut off her right breast in order to wield her sword with more proficiency because they didn't really want to picture an abnormality. Even a man playing the pipes would be of the servant class since "well-born Greeks avoided any physical distortion, and pipe playing, because it distorted the cheeks, could not be taken up by citizens."

For what it's worth: "the lyre was their instrument."
I was kind of surprised to read this.
Not sure it's exactly related, but that coupled with the niqab talk going around - thanks to France - and a video I saw earlier today, got me to thinking about "otherness" and how much of it we will allow to touch and maybe even influence our lives.
I think some people are much more tolerant than others, but maybe even those who have seemingly high degrees of tolerance have their limits.
It might be someone with a different culture or religion. Someone of a different race. I remember a friend married to a Greek man told me some of her inlaws believed blue-eyed people were evil. Maybe you dislike people of other genders. Or those of different sexual orientations. Maybe you don't like those who speak another language than you? Those who can't speak your language without a thick accent? It could be any number of things. Perhaps you are Catholic and greatly dislike Protestants. Or a Sunni who despises Alawaites or Druze. Or a Republican who has no time for someone on the opposite side of the aisle.
In reality we could divide ourselves all day, couldn't we?
In my own case, I think it's funny to think about my past. I grew up in an almost all-white, all-Protestant school and church. Even then I found people from other parts of the country so interesting. Since they were still white Protestants, I'd detect their different accents and culture. So fun. I've always been fascinated by foreigners, but my area is not that diverse so my mingling with them wasn't an everyday occurrence. I still recall my time at the community college. I had black classmates for almost the first time ... and found many of them quite fun. In fact my best friend for a time was a young black man who grew up completely differently than I although we lived in the same small county! We'd sit together at breaks and talk about our backgrounds. I remember asking him why black people named their children such funny names. Yes, I'm brazen like that sometimes, but we had that kind of friendship. And I've always been curious about names so why not ask? :)
Then most of you know my interest in Syria and by default other Arabs and Muslims and Middle Easterners and that all started with God bringing Samer into my life. He and I were talking about this just recently because we are still often amazed at how two people of such vastly different backgrounds became dear friends. On paper you never think of folks like us having enough in common to form a lasting friendship. A passing acquaintance...no problem. I have those all the time with a wide variety of people. But a true friendship?
It's something for which I thank God.
So how much otherness can you handle? Are you like the Greeks? Do you draw the line at physical deformities
(and do those include such things as puffy cheeks from someone playing pipes?) Have you had experiences with "other" people that you found surprising in good or bad ways? Learned any valuable lessons? Made any dear friends? Share your experiences if you'd like.

For what it's worth: "the lyre was their instrument."
I was kind of surprised to read this.
Not sure it's exactly related, but that coupled with the niqab talk going around - thanks to France - and a video I saw earlier today, got me to thinking about "otherness" and how much of it we will allow to touch and maybe even influence our lives.
I think some people are much more tolerant than others, but maybe even those who have seemingly high degrees of tolerance have their limits.
It might be someone with a different culture or religion. Someone of a different race. I remember a friend married to a Greek man told me some of her inlaws believed blue-eyed people were evil. Maybe you dislike people of other genders. Or those of different sexual orientations. Maybe you don't like those who speak another language than you? Those who can't speak your language without a thick accent? It could be any number of things. Perhaps you are Catholic and greatly dislike Protestants. Or a Sunni who despises Alawaites or Druze. Or a Republican who has no time for someone on the opposite side of the aisle.
In reality we could divide ourselves all day, couldn't we?
In my own case, I think it's funny to think about my past. I grew up in an almost all-white, all-Protestant school and church. Even then I found people from other parts of the country so interesting. Since they were still white Protestants, I'd detect their different accents and culture. So fun. I've always been fascinated by foreigners, but my area is not that diverse so my mingling with them wasn't an everyday occurrence. I still recall my time at the community college. I had black classmates for almost the first time ... and found many of them quite fun. In fact my best friend for a time was a young black man who grew up completely differently than I although we lived in the same small county! We'd sit together at breaks and talk about our backgrounds. I remember asking him why black people named their children such funny names. Yes, I'm brazen like that sometimes, but we had that kind of friendship. And I've always been curious about names so why not ask? :)
Then most of you know my interest in Syria and by default other Arabs and Muslims and Middle Easterners and that all started with God bringing Samer into my life. He and I were talking about this just recently because we are still often amazed at how two people of such vastly different backgrounds became dear friends. On paper you never think of folks like us having enough in common to form a lasting friendship. A passing acquaintance...no problem. I have those all the time with a wide variety of people. But a true friendship?
It's something for which I thank God.
So how much otherness can you handle? Are you like the Greeks? Do you draw the line at physical deformities
(and do those include such things as puffy cheeks from someone playing pipes?) Have you had experiences with "other" people that you found surprising in good or bad ways? Learned any valuable lessons? Made any dear friends? Share your experiences if you'd like.
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