Remembering Syria & January Books

It's the last few hours of January and I just now finished the final pages of a pretty big book. Yay, I am glad I finished it in time to add to this list.  Here's what I read this month. Not as much as some months, but I started off slowly and just have been busy doing other things.  Three years ago right now I was in Syria. I decided to remember my days there by posting a few pictures on Facebook. I'm trying to post ones that I didn't post on Facebook when we got home. And I'm trying to share a few tidbits about the places we visited or people we met or things we did.  Also I'm trying to add just a few pictures each day and trying to correlate them to the actual date three years ago. For instance today we would have visited the Umayyad mosque and a really fancy Shiite mosque. You can check out the album at this public link - Remembering Syria.  Syria is in a mess these days.  Some of my friends from our visit are out of there now, but many remain.  My thoughts are often with them. 


Captured by Grace by David Jeremiah -- although this was not on my wishlist, my brother gave me this for Christmas. What a challenging, good read for me!  A great way to start of the new year.  I made note of many things that spoke to me that I wanted to review later.  These are just a few things some of which I posted as Facebook status updates. 

‎"Mercy is God withholding the punishment we rightfully deserve. Grace is God not only withholding that punishment but offering the most precious gifts instead.

Mercy runs to forgive the Prodigal Son.
Grace throws a party with every extravagance.

Mercy bandages the wounds of the man beaten by the robbers.
Grace covers the cost of his full recovery.

Mercy hears the cry of the thief on the cross.
Grace promises paradise that very day. ..."  (pg. 22)

"Imagine discovering that the God you worship is Someone else entirely, Someone who bears radical differences to your most precious assumptions about Him. You would ask the very question Paul now asks: 'And he said, "Who are You, Lord?"'"  (pg. 112)


"...the essence of grace is surprise. There is nothing shocking about giving people exactly what they deserve. Grace subverts the rules and gives people what they don't deserve. It is motivated by the warmth of love rather than by cold calculation." (pg. 171)



Whose Bible Is It? by Jaroslav Pelikan - this was the first of my dozen Christmas books that I received and I got it from my Lil' Sis a couple weeks before Christmas day.  I cannot remember why I had it on my Amazon Wishlist, but enjoyed it nevertheless. The author started off talking about oral tradition in cultures and that lead to the writing down of the Bible over the centuries. His chapter on the Septuagint was interesting as was the Bible in various cultures. The binding of Isaac example was especially good.  He discussed peoples of the book and translating the Scriptures, the Bible according to Jews, Protestants, Catholics and so forth.  I should have been good and taken notes on these chapters. Alas, I did not.  He does conclude that the Bible is God's and "therefore really doesn't belong to any of us." 




The Book of Books: The Radical Impact of the King James Bible 1611-2011 by Melvyn Bragg.  This was one of those I found on the new books shelves at the library.  I enjoyed how the author showed how the KJB had influenced English speaking societies. I especially enjoyed his treatment of slaves and how the KJB spoke liberation to them and how they worked for their freedom. He made them seem very powerful.; see previous post for most information on this book





Jesus Before Christianity by Albert Nolan  -- one of those books I got from my Wishlist although I cannot recall why it was on there.  The author had some interesting ideas about things, however, so I'm glad I read it.  See previous posts for more details on this book




Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother by Xinran  -- this book was so sad, but good!  I am glad I read it as I know couples who have adopted children from China.  It's sad to read how valueless daughters are in China that they are often killed at birth. Yet mothers are mothers and many of them do have great pain following through with tradition's evil dictates.  This book shares cultural aspects of China and includes stories of women who have given up children for adoption. A very moving read. I was in tears several times.





Below Stairs by Margaret Powell -- Although this book was copyrighted in 1968 it was on the New Books shelf at my library.  It is "The Classic Kitchen Maid's Memoir That Inspired  Upstairs, Downstairs and Downton Abbey" according to the jacket cover. It was an easy read and pretty entertaining. If you want to know what life was like for one kitchen maid turned cook in England, this book might be for you.  A lesson I took from it is to respect all people and just because someone is a servant it doesn't mean she wants practical gifts and boring color schemes.



The Triumph of Christianity by Rodney Stark -- Last year I read a short book he wrote about the rise of Christianity and this book incorporates some of that information as well as quite a bit more. Prepare to have your thoughts on the Spanish Inquisition, the Crusades, the Dark Ages and the following periods challenged.  (Or maybe you'll simply scoff at how he makes a mockery of history.)  I actually enjoyed his point of view although I was left wondering if it were all true or a different sort of history revision.

Iraqi Refugees in Syria and Lebanon

I'm reading Eclipse of the Sunnis by Deborah Amos.  She is talking mostly about the Iraqi "surge" -- no, not the American soldiers surging into that country, but the "surge" of Iraqis fleeing their country into neighboring regions. This book tells the story of many people the author met during interviews with Iraqi refugees - millions who have been displaced mostly due to the American invasion and subsequent rising of a more sectarian government and society.  The first few chapters take place in Damascus and surrounding areas. One chapter deals with the women forced to work as prostitutes in order to provide for their children.

That's extremely heartbreaking enough, but then reading this just made me want to throw up my hands in disgust at the hypocrisy and unjustness!

"In another story, I had heard about an Iraqi woman in the sex trade whose clients were young Shiite men from the Mahdi militia who came to Syria in the summer for vacation. They paid her for sex, enjoyed her company, but threatened that if she ever came back to Baghdad they would cut her head off."  (pg. 84)

This is such an interesting book so far, and although it was published just last year, I am already wishing for an update due to how much Syria has changed in 2011.  I am left wondering about all those Iraqi refugees who fled there. Syria was one of the only countries who accepted Iraqis as the Jordanians quickly closed their border.  How have things changed for the refugees now that Syria is in an upheaval? Has it made more of them go back home? Have they joined either cause: those with Assad's regime or those who want more freedom?

In the section about Lebanon the author mentions Palestinians - particularly "young, third-generation refugees [who] had lost hope in liberating Palestine and found a more promising cause in the mujahedeen in Bosnia, Chechnya, Afghanistan, and then Iraq - all places they had gone to fight."  (pg. 100)

"The 2003 U.S. invasion of Iraq fanned the long-burning flame, giving the angry young men of Tripoli an outlet for venting their rage. When they came home from the anti-U.S. jihad in Iraq, the Lebanese fighters brought comrades with them and found refuge in Lebanon's Palestinian camps, which remained off-limits to the police and the army.  In this way, the unintended consequences of a generation of exiles that began in 1948 contributed to the ongoing destabilization of the region and the creation of a newly displaced people. It was the perfect example of the cost of doing nothing to solve an earlier refugee crisis: Ignore it for long enough and it will fan the next crisis and seed future ones."  (pg. 102)

The Human Condition

Journal entry excerpt from The Hemingway Book Club of Kosovo by Paula Huntley.  Last ones, I promise!  I returned the book a few days ago.  :-)

I read this and it just struck a chord. Maybe it's because not many days before this, I had been thinking of the "human condition" while sitting on my porch reading about struggles in Vietnam and elsewhere in the world. (Those travel books can really get to you when you start seeing "the enemy" as human beings!)  It was so weird seeing those exact words written in this journal entry in this particular book. I can relate much to the author's sentiments here and in the final entry on this post. Only instead of Kosovo (Kosova to Albanians; the spelling is a political statement and both are used in the book), my heart was left in Syria. I always wanted to go back, but now it seems nearly impossible.


TUESDAY, APRIL 24, 2001

... I remember a letter my brother, David, wrote me not long ago - a long thoughtful letter about the futility of most human efforts to improve things. Humanity evolves at its own speed, he says, and we are a long way away from being anywhere close to goodness, kindness, peace. He worries, I think, that with all the renewed violence in the area, I am discouraged, unhappy with our decision to come here. Maybe, he thinks, I have become cynical. After all, things look less stable now than they did when we arrived eight months ago.

It is true that after seeing what I have seen, learning what I have learned, I am less hopeful than ever about our human condition.  I doubt we can ever straighten ourselves out. World peace is only a dream. The most we can do, I fear, is to prevent violence in some places, put a lid on it in others, help each other when we can.

But in the place of hope I now feel ... something else.  I look around me and see that most of us share a certain sweetness.  Most of us are trying to live decent lives, doing what we can for our families and children, trying to find some meaning, to piece together the puzzle. But we keep blundering, stumbling, falling into fits of rage and fear, hatred and self-destruction. Our stories are often sad, tragic, maddening.  And I am not hopeful that things will get much better. I don't see progress, but I don't feel cynicism. I feel only an immense tenderness for all of us.

Tonight, as I have often done during my stay in Kosovo, I turn to a copy of The Sun, the magazine published by my friend, Sy. In an interview, James Hillman advises us to "pick one place where your heart can connect to the world's problems." 

For me, that place has been Kosovo. I am so very lucky to have found it.   (pg. 210)


Do you think Ms. Huntley's outlook on humanity or the world is too pessimistic, too optimistic or about right?  Do you think the world is getting better, worse or staying the same?  In what areas do you see progress? In what areas do you find cause for concern?


What do you think of the "immense tenderness" she feels for people? Do you also feel this way or do you tend towards cynicism or something else entirely?


What do you think about her observations of people sharing a "certain sweetness" and just trying to provide for their families and figure out this puzzle of life?


FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2002

...So, we will return this spring. ... When I e-mailed them of the possibility of returning for a visit, Leutrim and Leonard wrote back immediately volunteering to try to round everyone up for a class reunion at the Cambridge School.  And Genti wrote: "We wonder why anyone would come back to Kosova. We think you must love us very much."  (pg. 225)


Thoughts? Where has your heart connected to the world's problems? Or maybe it's not necessarily a particular place, but a cause or a group of people scattered throughout the world or in your own country.

Anything you want to share?

The Darkness of My Heart

Journal entry excerpt from The Hemingway Book Club of Kosovo by Paula Huntley.


"Teacher" was talking to her Kosovar students about the war and about how not all Serbs are bad and it's not good to generalize the whole population as being one way...right?

MONDAY, MARCH 5, 2001

...Is their bitterness, their fear so great that they could do to Serbs what Serbs did to them?  Could soft-spoken Veton burn a Serb village because his own was burned by Serbs? Would sweet, wide-eyed Enver, who loves basketball and never misses a class, stand by and watch while atrocities were committed?  Could any of these bright, kindhearted young people kill Serbs because they are Serbs?

And if I were in their shoes, what would I be capable of? Have I come to grips with the darkness in my own heart?

Tonight I read the words of Francois Bizot, who was imprisoned by the Khmer Rouge for three months in 1971 and who writes in Le Portail: "Every war needs killers and they can always be found. We always put ourselves in the skin of the victims and not of their killers - we never put ourselves in the skin of a Nazi or Khmer Rouge.  Yet between them and us there is very little difference, no more than between the victim and us."

And the same from Matthew Spender: "In extreme situations only chance divides the role of the torturer from that of his victims."

Are they right? Given the right circumstances, we are all, even the best of us, capable of anything?  There are no easy answers, in Kosovo or anywhere else. (pg. 188)


I was talking to a friend in Damascus the other day and he was saying how things have changed the last two months. The uprisings that began in Syria back in March have continued yet Friend has noticed a shift. He said people are openly talking of revenge, of siding with the devil if it means toppling the regime. His exact words to me were:

ordinary people are now talking of revenge and very very dark thoughts

  i fear that we will be torn apart there is so much hate now   i never imagined that we would reach this level 

 He said he'd even lost friends because of differing of opinions, there was much sectarian division and he did not like the way things were headed.

Listening to Friend talk and reading this excerpt from Ms. Huntley's journal makes me think the man she quoted is right when he says we often identify with the victims without perhaps realizing we are capable of evil things if circumstances go another way. Maybe the Nazis didn't realize they were doing anything wrong. They were cleansing the world of filth in order to ensure the strongest of the species survived, right?  And for the Syrian regime: why not stop those traitors who are bent on destroying the country?  Even religions OK killing treasonous people, don't they?

It's actually pretty easy to rationalize our favorite evil things. Thankfully most of us won't go the route of rounding up people for gas chambers, or mutilating young boys for the sake of power and control of a country. But...

What do you think of the quotes in this journal entry?

Four Journal Entries

Journal entry excerpts from The Hemingway Book Club of Kosovo by Paula Huntley. I am really enjoying this book!


MONDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2000

I am in love with my students. They are bright, fun, curious, receptive. Today they practice speaking, repeating each sentence after me in perfect imitation, and I realize with chagrin that these Kosovo Albanian students are being taught to speak English not only with an American accent, but with a southern accent!  It seems that, even after twenty-one years in California, my southern drawl is still with me - and now, with my students!  (pg. 51)


Haha!  I can totally see this happening if I were teaching ESL!  Samer would consider it great, I think. He actually wishes sometimes that I had a heavier southern accent if you can imagine! 



FRIDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2000


...And here is the key distinction, I've found, between Kosovar students and American students: American students study in order to secure lucrative jobs and a sense of individual achievement. Kosovo Albanians study so they can provide for their families - their parents, siblings, and grandparents, as well as any future family they will have. Education is a family goal, not an individual goal.  (pg. 115)


A few entries later the author talks about how shocked her students are when told that American teens often study far from their families and get jobs hundreds of miles away. Families are very important to Albanians and they cannot imagine this.  When "Teacher" reminds them that many of their relatives are in Western Europe working, they counter that they do this to send money back home, but their main goal is to return to be near their parents and siblings.



FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 2001

At the bottom of Dragodan at an intersection close to the railway tracks, there's a sign that proudly proclaims: "This Corner Cleaned Up by UNMIK."  The signpost itself is invisible because of the mountains of rubbish piled around it. The trash of kitchens, offices, and shops surrounds the sign and spills over into the street.

There's a basic cultural misunderstanding on this corner.  UNMIK, wishing to set an example for the community, cleaned up the site and erected the sign to show what could be done. The community took the sign to mean that UNMIK would clean up whatever garbage they dumped there.  Thus, the messiest corner in the city. (pg. 171)

This just struck me funny. Cultural misunderstandings often are (and sometimes not, of course!)  Oh, the people just pile trash outside. Apparently there are mounds of it to wade through to go anywhere.



THURSDAY, MARCH 1, 2001

As Leonard and I walk from the Monaco Café to the school today, I ask him: "Leonard, how is it that people here can always tell I am an American? Even before I open my mouth, shopkeepers, taxi drivers, people on the street can see that I am from the U.S."  I've been puzzled about this for a long while.

"That is easy, Teacher," he says. "You are not afraid."

I don't understand.

"Teacher" - he eyes me carefully, not wanting to insult me - "you think that because you like everyone, everyone will like you. You show everyone a friendly face, a face that trusts. You don't think anyone would hurt you. Everyone knows that is how Americans are." 

"Here in Kosova," he continues, "we have learned to be afraid.  Americans have not learned this lesson."  (pg. 182)

I remember when Samer and I were early in our friendship and I made a short video on my camera. Initially he told me if I came to Syria, I would blend right in with the locals because not all Syrians have dark hair and eyes and olive skin. (Since that area has had so many conquerors that have left their marks, the people can vary in skin, eye and hair color.)  So he told me until I open my mouth and reveal my English-speaking talk, they would probably think I was local. 

But then he saw a video where I was introducing myself to a few of his college friends and he changed his mind completely.  He said there was something about me - my body language (although the video was mostly a head-and-shoulders shot), my facial expression, my voice, something - that said "you are not Syrian!"  He said later that my eyes sparkled. And Syrian eyes did not so much.

Hmmm.

His friend "Jake" also thought I could pass for Syrian. He'd always seen the still-shot of me that I had on Skype or Facebook or somewhere!  But when he came with Samer to pick me up from the airport, he was amazed that I did not look Syrian at all and was very American-looking (whatever that means!)


What are your thoughts or impressions of any of this?  This book is great, by the way. Makes me want to learn more about that area of the world and the people and conflicts. I have been sorely ignorant. 

August, Syria, Ramadan, Somalia, Zach, Juan, World Travel, Fear

First off...happy August!  I really cannot believe it's the eighth month of the year and Christmas will be here before we know it!   While growing up, I recall people talking about life going so fast once you were out of high school. At the time, I was stuck in chemistry and physics classes that crawled by so I didn't believe them. But, boy, do I now!

The tenth of this month marks two and a half years since our last day in Damascus. My heart has been aching over what the government continues to do there.  The day before Ramadan, they decided to be even more cruel if you can believe it. I cannot even imagine that Syria is the same place I traveled to and loved. Which, in a way, it isn't.  The people then feared their government and all was calm.  Today, while they may still have this fear, many have chosen to speak out in spite of it.  With hopes for a better, freer future.  I admire their courage.



Secondly, I hope my friends observing Ramadan have a beneficial month as you reflect on God and what He has blessed you with yet others in the world lack.   Some of them your brothers and sisters in faith. Like Somalia.  Ugh, again heartache seeing those starving people on television and Wafa's blog posts.  Heartbreaking.



Thirdly, today is the third and Zach is three months old!  My dad reminded me that his grandfather would have been 111 years old today as he was born August 3, 1900. 



Fourthly, my brother in law's brother has been visiting the area for the last few days.  Juan is from Venezuela and it's his first trip to the USA. He doesn't speak much English, but thankfully Will is great at both languages and can translate.  Really, smiles and hugs don't need any translating and Juan is a fun-loving, pleasant, loving 18 year old.  I've enjoyed seeing him while he's been in North Carolina. Will hasn't seen his little brother since Juan was about 8....younger than Michael!  Can you imagine? Of course he's talked to his family and seen Juan via Skype, but still. It's so cute seeing Juan and Will together. They have similar facial expressions and even walk the same! 



Lastly, I have two questions for you.

1.   I just finished a book about a family who took a year to travel around the world. They visited about 40 cities concentrating on southern Europe, South Africa, India, Cambodia, Laos and Australia.  They avoided South America, the Middle East (except for Turkey), most of northern Europe, Russia and most of the USA since they are from California.  I was curious if you could take off for a trip around the world for a year, what are the places you would most definitely want to visit?



2.  I keep seeing how much fear drives the news. I've been hanging out at my parents' house recently and while feeding my baby nephew, I'll sometimes watch CNN to see what's happening in the world. For days last week, you would have thought the world was coming to an end if Congress failed to extend the debt ceiling.  As if the USA keeps the world going and if we defaulted, life as we know it would come to and end, aliens would invade and we'd all be their slaves. (I think Amber's post influenced that last bit..sorry.)

I've read articles about the Norway terrorist and see how often fear drives people to do evil things. They fear Muslims. They fear immigrants. They fear the end of civilization as we know it.  They fear the extinction of white people. Why so much fear?

That got me to wondering what YOU fear. Do you fear the same things? If so, why?  I think we all have our own personal fears so who is brave enough to share some of them?  And how do you deal with your fear?  Do you feed it by listening to even more doomsday news stories (or preachers!) or do you handle it by denial - what exactly?  What are your fear-busting remedies?   Any recommendations?

Or maybe you think it's a good thing to fear because it keeps up from getting too complacent?  What are your thoughts on fear? Healthy? Good in moderation? 

Do share...unless you are too scared!  ;-)

Michael's take on hijab

Note: I can count on one hand the number of women wearing hijab that I've seen in my county during the entire time I've lived here which is all except the first few years of my life. Keep that in mind when you read this...and why seeing a (most likely) Muslim lady was noteworthy to me.  Oh, and Michael is my nine-year-old nephew.

Michael a few Halloweens ago covering his cuteness

Yesterday we were leaving my grandparents' apartment when I saw a lady with hijab walking with a young girl.  They, like Michael and I, were loading the car in order to leave.  Discreetly (read: without pointing) I said cheerfully, "Oh, there's a Muslim lady over there." Michael glanced across the parking lot. 

"Why isn't the little girl wearing one of those things?" he asked.

I explained that children didn't have to wear them.

"But her parents might make her when she's older?" he pondered.

"Maybe. But it's supposed to be the individual's choice."

Michael again, "I don't see why they want to cover their beauty."

I chuckled inwardly. Did he just actually say "cover their beauty"?  Where did he hear that?

I do remember when we returned from Syria over two years ago that I showed him photos from our time there. I explained about the women covering their hair and that they felt God required this of them in order to be modest.  Maybe I used that phrase back then, but that's been quite a while ago!

"Oh, you think women's hair is beautiful, huh?"

"Oh yeah...there's not much better than good hair." 

And what would I know about that?

Then we went on to discuss Muslims a little bit since he's never met any.  He said, "Don't most Muslims want to kill us?"  *groan*

I'm thinking he really needs to take a trip to Syria!


(Or at least back when I was there. Now it's in a bit of turmoil...for freedom's sake.)

Good Friday Sadness

So today was Good Friday, the day many Christians remember Jesus' crucifixion.  I found out about an event at a rescue mission located about 45 minutes away and went there to help serve lemonade to the people from the community who came to eat. The day was cool and rainy, but we had a large crowd to feed. I had a wonderful time smiling at others, talking to the adults and making funny faces at the children.  I wanted them to see Jesus in me and I hope they did.  The mission gave away bags of groceries, nice clothes, Easter baskets and had games and balloons and prizes for the children.

On the way down I was listening to a CD from a message my pastor spoke a few months ago. I remember liking it then so I saved it and today I remembered why. One part he talks about suffering with people.  How we enter into their suffering the same way Jesus suffered with us.  So this evening I've been suffering for Syria.

They had "Great Friday" there.  Each Friday they have had names for their protests -- the day of persistence and .. I'm drawing a blank, but you get the idea. Today being Good Friday for Christians, they decided to show solidarity with the Christians within Syria and gave it the Arabic version which Samer told me translates to Great Friday. So, Great Friday was a horrible day!  Almost 90 people killed and I saw some gruesome videos!  I "liked" Shaam News Network* on Facebook so my news feed has been full of the reality of the day there!  And it's awful!

So I am sharing in their suffering and am heartbroken for the beautiful people throughout that country who are seeing their country fall apart and for those precious souls who lost their lives today.  I weep with them.

Edited to add this video. A Syrian friend (not Samer who has been asleep in Germany for hours now) asked me to share it on Facebook just now and I decided to add it here. It will break your heart.






* Click the link, but be prepared for some graphic stuff. Some of my Facebook people seemed to have problems with a couple things I posted from it today.  Reality is too difficult for many folks whose vision of reality is Survivor and Hell's Kitchen.

How Much "Otherness" Can You Handle?

I finished reading the book on the Greeks the other day and last night was looking through the 60+ pieces of art included in the picture section.  Three times the author makes mention of the Greeks' disgust with physical deformity and how the statues wouldn't show, say, an Amazon who cut off her right breast in order to wield her sword with more proficiency because they didn't really want to picture an abnormality.  Even a man playing the pipes would be of the servant class since "well-born Greeks avoided any physical distortion, and pipe playing, because it distorted the cheeks, could not be taken up by citizens."




For what it's worth: "the lyre was their instrument."

I was kind of surprised to read this.

Not sure it's exactly related, but that coupled with the niqab talk going around - thanks to France - and a video I saw earlier today,  got me to thinking about "otherness" and how much of it we will allow to touch and maybe even influence our lives.

I think some people are much more tolerant than others, but maybe even those who have seemingly high degrees of tolerance have their limits. 

It might be someone with a different culture or religion.  Someone of a different race.  I remember a friend married to a Greek man told me some of her inlaws believed blue-eyed people were evil.  Maybe you dislike people of other genders. Or those of different sexual orientations. Maybe you don't like those who speak another language than you? Those who can't speak your language without a thick accent?   It could be any number of things.  Perhaps you are Catholic and greatly dislike Protestants. Or a Sunni who despises Alawaites or Druze. Or a Republican who has no time for someone on the opposite side of the aisle. 

In reality we could divide ourselves all day, couldn't we?


In my own case, I think it's funny to think about my past. I grew up in an almost all-white, all-Protestant school and church.  Even then I found people from other parts of the country so interesting. Since they were still white Protestants, I'd detect their different accents and culture.  So fun. I've always been fascinated by foreigners, but my area is not that diverse so my mingling with them wasn't an everyday occurrence.  I still recall my time at the community college. I had black classmates for almost the first time ... and found many of them quite fun. In fact my best friend for a time was a young black man who grew up completely differently than I although we lived in the same small county! We'd sit together at breaks and talk about our backgrounds.  I remember asking him why black people named their children such funny names.  Yes, I'm brazen like that sometimes, but we had that kind of friendship.  And I've always been curious about names so why not ask?  :)

Then most of you know my interest in Syria and by default other Arabs and Muslims and Middle Easterners and that all started with God bringing Samer into my life.  He and I were talking about this just recently because we are still often amazed at how two people of such vastly different backgrounds became dear friends.  On paper you never think of folks like us having enough in common to form a lasting friendship. A passing acquaintance...no problem.  I have those all the time with a wide variety of people.  But a true friendship? 

It's something for which I thank God.

So how much otherness can you handle?  Are you like the Greeks?  Do you draw the line at physical deformities

(and do those include such things as puffy cheeks from someone playing pipes?) Have you had experiences with "other" people that you found surprising in good or bad ways?  Learned any valuable lessons? Made any dear friends? Share your experiences if you'd like.

Hey, what's up?

Wow, I can hardly believe how not chatty I've been here lately. I guess nothing has really stood out to me to share although I have read some interesting things.  Just today I finished I Shall Not Hate: A Gaza Doctor's Journey on the Road to Peace and Human Dignity by Izzeldin Abuelaish.    A Facebook friend recommended it a few weeks back after her family had the opportunity to hear Dr. Abuelaish speak somewhere near their home,I guess.  Anyway, I put it on my Amazon wishlist and it was one of the two books I received for Valentine's Day.  I cried during parts of it, but was encouraged by his attitude. I really admire this guy!

Yesterday we went to the Natural Science Museum in a neighboring city.  My brother, sister, nephew, dad and I went so it was quite a fun "field trip."  It's not so often that this particular crew gets to go out together for a day.  You can see a few pictures here if you'd like.  There is a llama with some crazy hair!  And also a couple of snakes that I touched though that was not photographed since I was holding the camera. Instead you can see Michael touching the snakes!  I also made friends with a cockatoo.

Here is a video about Freedom's Call in Syria. It's about dissidents working in that country and the struggle they face in this oppressive regime.

Here is a short video of the most typical face on the planet.  It also has some interesting facts of what is typical in various parts of the world. Like in some countries residents spend eight hours a day collecting water!  Can you imagine?! Wow!

I am heading out now. Going to meet some high school friends in a couple of hours, but I wanted to run an errand or two first.  The library is calling my name!  Anyone want to guess how many books jump into my arms and what topics they are about?

In Which I Admit to Crying Over Tea ... and a Packet of Olive Oil

Are any of y'all keeping tabs with what is going on in Egypt?  I know many people in the world are very interested (at least in the Middle East), but I'm a realist and have lived in America long enough (so, OK, my whole life) to know people here are generally more interested in the latest celebrity news and their favorite TV shows than world events.  (Am I wrong?) Today I watched President Hosni Mubarak as he shattered his people's hopes by clinging to power despite their days of demonstrations against his corrupt and dictatorial ways.  I really felt sad for them especially when I saw pictures like these from the BBC Arabic site.  I've often been good at putting myself in others' places. Not fully. I don't know that anyone can fully understand another's predicament, but I do have a very tender spot for people who are struggling for a variety of reasons.  If I've read something you've written about a hardship in your life, chances are my heart has hurt for you. So seeing those pictures and recognizing the disappointment on faces especially after there was some news earlier in the day that Mubarak might be announcing his resignation...well, I just sympathize with those wanting to be free and wanting opportunities they've been denied most of their lives.

I've been posting articles on Facebook and probably driving everyone nuts (Thankfully there is a "hide all posts from Susanne" option on FB that I'm sure many have enjoyed!), but I find so many things interesting that I just want to share!  Some have led to "interesting talks" which have helped me further articulate what I believe and why.  It's challenging though when people you knew years ago suddenly wonder about you. I'm not used to that as I'm rather a conformist. A nice little southern, Baptist girl who didn't rock the boat much.  Oh, why am I changing now?!


Two years ago today was our last day in Damascus. I was thinking of that earlier because - although I know it's not wise to live in the past - there are some things I simply don't want to forget. That day was such a sad one for me, but it was also full of special events.  Damascus and more importantly the wonderful people there have remained in my heart ever since.  I felt in Syria as if I'd come to my second home.  I miss so much about it and hope one day to return, Inshallah (God willing) as they would say there.  I remember as we were traveling home on Wednesday, February 11, 2009.  I was incredibly tired, but unable to sleep well on the plane.  I was emotional from tiredness and the fact I just had to leave great friends who would remain over six thousand miles from me.  And when the Turkish steward guy on the airplane would come by offering chai, I would have tears running down my face because it reminded me of all the cups of sweet, hot tea I'd shared with friends and been offered even by workers in the hammam during men's hours!  And then when I opened the lunch they gave me, and saw a packet of lemon juice and olive oil....tears again.  My Syrian friends liked these things!  *waaah*


Today was a milestone birthday for my sister and my cousin.  They arrived on the same day in the same year and assured me that I would not be the only granddaughter in the Truax clan.  Before they were born I was one girl amongst six grandsons! Eh, the boys were fun though.  Really. I have great memories of traipsing through the woods and playing down by the river with my twin cousins and my brother when we'd visit South Carolina.  Also I'd play football with them.  The American kind.

Did I ever tell y'all I got the nickname "Bruiser" while playing high school basketball? Maybe I've always had a little aggressive streak in me.  :)

Hijabi Susie

Dear sweet Amber likes to joke that I look like a little girl playing dress up when I'm wearing this ...this cape supplied to me by the folks at the Umayyad Mosque. I think it's my fitting that thing over 

my t-shirt, 

hoodie, 

a lined coat,

and a hat 

that makes it looks a little, well, haphazard.

Playing dress up?

Perhaps I look a bit more mature in the black cape I wore at a neighborhood mosque.   By this time in my travels I was a bit more sophisticated getting the hang of wearing capes over all my clothes!

Samer called me Hajjeh Susie

Amber had a post about her wearing hijab because it was so cold in Florida this week.  Well, I wore my own version of it yesterday as well. And I took a picture to show you.

No big smile because I am not amused by these frigid temps! Brrrrr!

Meeting Young People In Iran...Comparisons to Syria

We visited the tourist sights, but also mingled with the locals.

Besides the coexistence book I've been reading and posting notes on lately, I started reading another library book Children of Jihad this weekend.  It describes the journey of a Jewish American graduate student as he travels throughout parts of the Middle East and gets to know some of the youth.  He spends the first 4 chapters recounting his few weeks in Iran in 2004. Iran is often in the news, but I don't know that much about its people except what is shared in the media. I found his story an exciting way to learn more about the average person on the street.

Jared Cohen was a student at Oxford when he applied over and over and over again for a visa to Iran.  He was rejected many times, but eventually his persistence paid off.  He tells how he was met by a "tour guide" at the airport.  When I told my Syrian friend about this, he immediately said, "uh huh...someone from their intelligence" which was right! Jared, by the way, is someone Samer told me about when the Iranians had their elections last year and there were many protesting in the streets. Twitter was planning to shut down due to site maintenance, but Jared urged its founder to wait as this was one of the only way dissidents were able to have their voices heard outside Iran.  I knew his face on the book jacket looked familiar...thanks to Samer, now I know why! Also he was only 24 when he was hired by the US State Department and he worked under both Condoleeza Rice and Hillary Clinton there.

Anyway back to Iran.  As I was reading these 100 pages, I was struck many times with how similar it was to Syria. Not everything of course, but a number of things including the words "police state" and "regime."  While regime technically is just the government who happens to be in power, it always has a darker sound to it when I read it.  Like it's a bad thing instead of neutral.  Partway through reading I decided to jot down a few notes on how Iran as described in this book is similar and different than the Syria that I know.   "That I know" being the qualifying words since I really know very little of what truly goes on there. 

But from my own experiences and listening to others who have lived there or visited, here goes:

LIKE SYRIA
Iran is part of the 'axis of evil' according to former President Bush. In fact when we were in Damascus, Samer's twin made us laugh when he said with a touch of dry humor, "Next you will have to visit Iran and North Korea so you can visit all the Axis of Evil." 

Iran has a police state and a culture of fear is present.

Iran blocks websites in its attempts to control what its people are able to read.  Jared said mostly they tried to block blogs and places where dissenters congregate, but he said "progressive" Dubai does a much better job of restricting websites.

The Iranian youth are glad to see Americans as there are few from the United States who travel there. I recall people being happy that Andrew and I were in Syria and they told us the same thing: we don't see many Americans here.

We met Ahmed from Gaza while visiting the Umayyad Mosque,
and he spent the next few hours tagging along with us.

Iranians hate the American government, but love American movies, culture and people.

Most people were very kind and treated Jared with warm hospitality.  I can never say enough about how wonderful the Syrians we met were.

Iranian youth want to get out of Iran due to lack of jobs. This perpetuates the "brain drain."  I've noticed the same about most Syrian young people who are frustrated because there are few opportunities in Syria.


UNLIKE SYRIA
Iran has a religious regime whereas Syria's is more secular.

Andrew and Susanne in the Umayyad Mosque

Iran has a serious drug problem and the youth have bootleg liquor at their illegal parties.  Alcohol is not forbidden in Syria.  Jared mentioned most parties aren't necessarily for entertainment, but a forum for expression and a form of resistance against an oppressive regime.

Iran has morality police to ensure good Islamic behavior.  I never noticed similar police in Syria.

Jared was treated poorly by government officials and intelligence officers who wanted to restrict him to only seeing tourist attractions instead of mingling with the people.  In Syria we never had problems with the government and the only people we visited (apart from the few westerners we met at the hostel) were locals.


JUST SOME FACTS
Jared mentioned that cell phones were used to set up dates and social networking websites were a way young people got to know members of the opposite sex. He stated that satellite dishes were the biggest anti-propaganda tools and while they were illegal, they were smuggled into the country and sold on the black market. Even in poor regions, people would pool their resources to buy a dish for a cluster of apartments. He said some Iranian youth watch Voice of America for hours a day to perfect their English.

One area where Iranian youth agreed with the regime was Iran's nuclear program as it was attached to national pride.  The Iranian young people saw it as a source of technological achievement and progress and wanted their country to be among the elite countries in the world who already had nuclear weapons.  When Jared mentioned acquiring nuclear weapons as a possible way for the regime to hold onto its power, the young people he talked to said they would gladly give up the nuclear power for a true change in the ruling establishment.

One part that made me laugh was when Jared met an Iranian woman, Mariam, who along with her friends asked Jared about America and Americans' impressions of Iranians. Then he said she wanted an explanation about toilet paper's merits (which she thought there were none as it was dirty) over the use of water.  Jared really didn't know how to respond finally leaving her with the assurance that we try to shower as much as possible. 

When speaking about a reformist president who disappointed the Iranian youth several years back, Jared was told all he did was allow the girls to wear nail polish and raise the marrying age from 9 to 13.  She retorted that girls were already wearing nail polish and no one wanted to get married that young anyway! 

When asked what three things she wanted people in American to know about Iranian youth, she said 1. We are not Arabs, but Iranians  2.We are not terrorists  3. We do the same things young people do all around the world.

As much as the youth tended to hate their regime and wanted change, they in no way wanted America's assistance and said the minute an American soldier came to their soil, America became their enemy.  They realized regime change ultimately had to come from within.



Since I mentioned Syria in this post I decided to include a few pictures from our trip there.   I love that place. :)

Pyramids, Prejudices, Egypt..oh my!

So I mentioned that I was reading Walking Through the Bible by an American Jew named Bruce Feiler.  The subtitle is "a journey by land through the five books of Moses" and so far I've traveled with him and his archaeologist friend Avner Goren through parts of Turkey, Israel, the Palestinian territories and Egypt. Currently I am in Cairo getting ready to head to Goshen.  (Isn't it great how I said that as if I'm actually traveling with them?)   I love all the historical tales meshed with modern times plus the archaeological stuff!  I've read 164 pages out of more than 400 so I wanted to jot down a few notes thus far. Most of these are just amusing descriptions or thoughtful observations of the author in his travels.

But first did you know that the largest pyramid has 2,300,000 limestone blocks that if you lined end to end could pave a single-lane road from San Francisco to New York?!  (pg. 157)    Woooooooooooow!  They sure must look bigger in person than they do in picture books!  ;)

So, yeah, I find stuff like that fascinating!  And here are just a few other things so far that have taken my attention.



Upon meeting one of Avner Goren's colleagues and being invited into the historian and "patriarch of biblical scholars," Avraham Malamat's house:

"'Welcome to my home,' he said gesturing grandly and noting that he had 10,500 books in his personal library.  'How many about the Bible?' I asked.  He seemed surprised by the question. 'Ten thousand five hundred.'"   (pg. 94)

Of course!  What other kinds of books are there, right? 



The author's image of archaeologists:  "grown-ups playing in the sand. They're adult versions of sandbox architects, taking materials they find in the ground, arranging them in a certain coherent order, and sprinkling in their own imaginations to create a thriving reality where the rest of us would see nothing, or worse, pave it over and build a mall. They're squabblers at times; absentminded often.  But, at their best, they're sort of inverted prophets. If prophets foretell the future, warning of what might come, archaeologists foretell the past, warning of what already happened."  (pg. 104)

That mall thing kind of got to me!


The author met another archaeologist, Gabriel Barkay, and they discussed the time when biblical archaeology became popular.   When asked how does proving the Bible help faith, Barkay replied:

"'I'm a local Jew,' he said. 'I don't care whether this or that detail is incorrect in the Bible. It doesn't change my attitude toward the Bible, toward religion, toward God. Or toward myself.  But in America there was an idea that the Bible is a kind of machine; if you prove that two of the screws really existed, then the whole machine existed, and if you take out two screws, the whole thing collapses.  But the Bible is not a machine. It doesn't have screws.'" (pg. 106)

Gabi continues, "'Serious people know that some parts of the Bible go well with archaeology, others do not.  So what? I'm not going to find in archaeology, ever, a business card that says "Abraham, son of Terah."  But it doesn't matter. It's not a book of history. It's a book of faith.'"  (pg. 107)

Now that card would be an awesome find! :-)


When he first arrived in Egypt the author admits to his dread.  Growing up Jewish, he had a thought of Egypt being an enemy country. Not because of current events, but rather because of the biblical account from Moses' time when the pharoah enslaved the Israelites.  So he first thinks he is being heckled by people on the streets until he realized the teenagers were offering him cigarettes and asking if he knew Michael Jordan.  He felt so comfortable by the next night that he used public transportation and when he asked for directions, the fifteen people in the van all joined in the conversation and half of them got off the van early in order to walk him to where he needed to go.  "'The biggest surprise about the Middle East,' I declared to friends, 'is how friendly the Arabs are.'"  (pg. 124)

I can so relate, Bruce!  The Syrian Arabs I met were oh-so kind!


While traveling on the famous, life-giving river, the author speaks of his "aversion to the Nile.  This feeling, I was beginning to see, like many I unknowingly carried around within me, stems largely from the Bible, and the deep cultural prejudices I inherited from it as a child.  The Nile may have given rise to the greatest civilization of antiquity, but that civilization, in turn, almost annihilated the Israelites.  In my mind, Egypt was the adversary, the aggressor, the other.  And before I could embrace - or even appreciate - this part of the Bible, I first had to overcome any latent hostility to Egypt."  (pg. 136)

Wow, I wonder how many of us carry around cultural prejudices we maybe developed as children. I know at one time I didn't really care for Germans because I thought of evil Hitler and images I had of Germans being OK with killing Jews simply because they weren't white, blond or blue-eyed.  I wasn't even taught to be this way, but just kind of picked it up somewhere in my mind while reading about Germans and maybe watching The Sound of Music where those evil Germans were after the captain to come fight in their war!  It's amazing how prejudices can form even without us realizing it!



Later in the book the author and his friend Avner were talking after having visited the Egyptian Museum where they saw the wonders of Tutankhamen's tomb.  Bruce asked Avner what made him the most excited about all that they had seen buried with the Egyptian ruler.  Avner didn't say the gold or mask or anything about the artifacts, but "the human touch."  "'This was designed by people, it was built by people.'"

I told him about my conversation with Basem [a Muslim tour guide who had his degree in Egyptology], in which he said he felt distant from ancient Egyptians because they had different beliefs.

"I believe that if I were to come back in that time," Avner said, "I would be able to bridge the gap.  I feel they were people like us, despite their beliefs.  It's like coming to Egypt today.  People in Israel think Egyptians are different from them. Still, it was fun to talk to the driver on the way from the airport. He was very curious about Tel Aviv. He had heard it was a great city.  What is the cost of living there? How are the people there? In spite of the gaps, which are big, we're much closer than people think."

"But what makes you think that?" I said. "In Exodus, Egypt is the enemy."

"Not so fast," he said. "Egypt is not a bad place in the Bible. It's the pharaoh, he's a bad man."

"But I thought you said those were the same thing."

He smiled. "The pharaoh of Joseph was not a bad man. Remember, he saved Joseph from prison and invited his family to live in Goshen.  It was a different pharaoh, four hundred years later, who put the Israelites into bondage. That's when the Bible changes its mind.  That's when Egypt becomes the enemy."  (pgs. 154-155)

And although these Jewish men didn't probably continue with this train of thought,  I can't help but remember the angel of God instructing Joseph to take Mary and Jesus to Egypt in order to avoid Jesus' death after Herod's decree that all baby boys be killed in his attempt to get rid of this new Jewish king the wise men were searching for.  (see Matthew 2)



After giving description of the congestion in Cairo and the traffic, the author records Avner's take on the taxis:  "'The only reason these cars have steering wheels is so they have a place to put their horns.'"   (pg. 148)

I can only laugh at this because I remember the horns of Damascus!  I've never heard so much honking!  And I hear Cairo is waaaay worse!



Speaking of their visit to the Egyptian Museum, the author says, "Founded in 1858, the museum outgrew its current facility within months and has never recovered. Allowing one minute for each object, it would take nearly nine months to view its 136,000 artifacts. Forty thousand more objects lie crated in the basement, where many have sunk into the ground, requiring excavations.  Egypt:  where even the museums are archaeological sites."  (pg. 148)

Ha! Loved that last line!


Did you find any of these interesting, impressive, noteworthy, troubling, amusing or do you now know for certain that I am warped and find the weirdest stuff to take the time to share?  Do tell!

Happy Ramadan, Syria, Matthew 15 -- Clean/Unclean Hearts; Woman of Great Faith

First things first: Happy Ramadan to all my sweet Muslim friends!  I hope you have a joyful month and that God blesses you by guiding you closer to Himself!

Secondly, I8 months ago right now, Andrew and I were on that loooooooong flight from Istanbul to Chicago after having not slept all night and leaving Damascus in the wee morning hours.  Some days it seems like our trip to Syria was only a dream! Did we really walk where Paul did? Did we really visit the ruins of a Crusader castle and see the shrine to John the Baptist in the Umayyad mosque? But then I look at all my pictures and see myself there and realize it did happen! Seems like a lifetime ago though. I miss it.

So yesterday I talked a bit about tradition and today I'll continue with what Jesus said about washing your hands before eating.  From Matthew 15,

 ¹⁰Jesus called the crowd to him and said, "Listen and understand. ¹¹What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.' "

 ¹²Then the disciples came to him and asked, "Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?"

 ¹³He replied, "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. ¹⁴Leave them; they are blind guides. If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit."

 ¹⁵Peter said, "Explain the parable to us."

 ¹⁶"Are you still so dull?" Jesus asked them. ¹⁷"Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? ¹⁸But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' ¹⁹For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. ²⁰These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.' "

I think that's understandable enough.  What we say and do reveals the inner man or woman.  It reveals whether we have a pure heart or whether our hearts are vile. This is also a warning to make sure we don't have blind guides, huh? 

²¹Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. ²²A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession."

 ²³Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, "Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us."

 ²⁴He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel."

 ²⁵The woman came and knelt before him. "Lord, help me!" she said.

 ²⁶He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs."

 ²⁷"Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."

 ²⁸Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.

Amber and I recently talked a bit about this on her blog.  In my comment I discussed why Jesus called her a dog.  I'll just repost most of it here.

I remember reading about this in Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes. The author wondered if Jesus were also teaching his disciples at the same time. Notice they wanted to send her away. Yes, Jesus was ignoring her, but they likely were irritated with her

1. She wasn't Jewish
2. She was a woman
3. She was yelling

The author of JTMEE reminded me of how sometimes when our racism is pointed out...like thrown back into our faces and "said out loud" (like Jesus was speaking of her people as dogs) then it has more of a shock value. It's one thing to have buried racism - thinking that blacks aren't as great as whites or calling blacks "monkeys", but when it's said out loud BY A HOLY MAN it seems much more shocking to realize "wow, I think this way?" *blush, blush*

So I don't know if that is part of it or not, but that book was helpful to me in explaining this.


I like that she recognized Jesus as someone who could help her...and persisted with faith. What a lesson.

What's also interesting to me is that Jesus commended her for her great faith.  I read that only twice is it recorded that Jesus said this and both times he said it to non-Jewish people who recognized that he was able to heal as they requested. The other was a Roman centurion. This story shows me that Jesus' mercy extends to all people. He didn't stay only in Jewish towns, but traveled places where Gentiles would be and he graciously met their needs - physical and spiritual ones (such as the woman at the well.)

 ²⁹Jesus left there and went along the Sea of Galilee. Then he went up on a mountainside and sat down. ³⁰Great crowds came to him, bringing the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute and many others, and laid them at his feet; and he healed them. ³¹The people were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the crippled made well, the lame walking and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel.

Jesus recognized these people needed to eat so, moved by his compassion, he again fed them miraculously by making a few fish and loaves of bread into a meal for more than four thousand.

The Eds & The Ings

Traveled: to visit friends in West Virginia this weekend

Enjoyed: lovely weather & seeing rolling hills with cows and streams

Looked: at Samer's great pictures from Switzerland

Delighted: to talk with Louai when he accidentally called me on Skype

Insisted: to Louai that I don't talk from the bottom of my throat when he told me Arabic was so easy that "even the children in Syria speak it!" :-P

Laughed: when Pop shouted "Sing it, Lady!" as I sang Jesus songs to him yesterday as I cleaned

Finished: the Syrian School series yesterday -- they were great!

And now introducing The Eds' cousins, The Ings!

Catching: up on some online reading I missed while gone

Learning: to be a servant

Struggling: with my selfishness

Reading: Jesus, Interrupted

Working: on a post about why I don't eat kosher food

Going: to get off the computer and read now

Ciao!

"The Eds" Have Made Their March Appearance!

This is some of last week in a nutshell.


Filled: a lot of posts from Matthew 1 - 5:1-12 this past week. A big thanks to all who contributed to them by leaving your comments. I enjoy what questions and perspectives and varying thoughts you offer... so, thanks! Keep 'em coming!

Checked: out OK at the doctor's office (yearly physical)

Figured: my federal and state income tax for 2009. This and a physical all in one week. How can a girl get so lucky?

Visited: my grandparents with Michael. This is normal for "The C&E Team." I clean, he entertains. Mema enjoys Michael showing her his new toys. She's likely more "up" on Bakugan than most any other 86-year-old woman out there!

Moved: my brother and his wife to their new residence. Well, I just helped a bit in reality. I did not move all that stuff by myself!

Transferred: pictures from Christmas and Michael's birthday to my Snapfish account. Finally! This is why you got to see Michael signing the Christmas card yesterday - about six weeks after the fact.

Enjoyed: Syrian School part 1 -- a BBC documentary. I saw sights from Damascus and Maaloula where I'd been - loved that! Now I need to watch the other parts and see if I detect any other familiar sights.

Gathered: with some church friends last night at Mike and Cindy's house! Besides us, Mike, Cindy and their son, Jacob, there was Mark & Lindsay, Tommy, Sherel & DJ, Whitney, George & Marianne, Terry and Kevin in attendance. Did I miss anyone? I knew all of them except George and Marianne, but I quickly made their acquaintance and found out George is Egyptian. He came to the US when he was 12.

Laughed: so hard that my face was sore. Many of those people mentioned above have a crazy amount of goofiness that they share liberally with the rest of us!

Played: board game Apples to Apples last night.

Borrowed: UP! and several books from Cindy. Andrew said that movie will make me cry...hmmm.

Discovered: a good fiction book in the pile I brought home! Yay, I'd been needing a good book to read. I have some nonfiction books that need reading, but I'm not ready to start something deep at the moment. Matthew has been deep enough for the time being.

Wowed: how God often uses Charles Stanley's monthly publications and letters to speak directly to things I'm struggling with. Like really. Does this guy read my mind and personalize his messages just for me?

Teared: up thinking of a sweet man, Brother Fred, from my parents' church who went to be with Jesus last night. He was a dear man.

Pondered: this from the margins of my Quest Study Bible

Referring to Matthew 5:11-12,

¹¹"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹²Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.


The question is: Why rejoice and be glad about persecution?

"Because it reinforces our identity with Christ and the prophets. We can also be glad because, though righteousness has a price, it also has a reward. Persecution reminds us that we can anticipate something better in heaven. Our joy comes not from the physical suffering itself but from the reason for the suffering: Jesus Christ."

This reminded me of yesterday's post about these verses challenging us towards loyalty to Jesus. Also I thought of Acts 5 where the disciples were preaching, jailed, let out of prison, preached some more, flogged and then

⁴¹The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name.

One last thing on this topic:

"The Beatitudes are an ethical model that requires our declaration of dependence on God."

We cannot do those things without His help.

(pg. 1390)

Beware of that Looming, Pouncing Fear!

Did I ever tell y'all that I'm a sucker for round hay bales? I stole this from my friend Niki. She's sweet and sharing so . . . thanks, Niki! :)




Thanks for all the kind birthday wishes and sweet comments about Michael in my previous post. I love that kid! Is it obvious? :)


I'm sloooooowly reading through The History of Islam volume 1 and feel like I'm back in the Joshua days of the Old Testament with all the battles going on! Today in my reading Damascus was the target of the invading Muslim armies!

Have y'all noticed I've not said "Damascus" or "Syria" much these days outside of references to them in books? I call that progress, don't you?

I read this earlier and thought it was good:

"Lean times are God's invitation to believe Him. When we're facing financial insecurity, we realize what's always true: our only real security is in the Lord and His Word. We basically have two choices: hold on tightly to the little we have and do our best to make ends meet, or release our grip, acknowledge our helplessness, and accept His offer to supply our needs."

~Deborah Bate; pg.29 of In Touch, March 2010

I also liked this:

"Take a deep breath. Stop being so anxious. God is faithful; you can trust Him."

~ Paul Baloche

Definitely something I needed to hear. Have I ever shared how fear is often a (bad) companion of mine? My preacher says it's normal to feel fear. Really we cannot help our emotions, can we? When we hear sad news, we feel sadness. When we hear of injustices, we feel anger. And when we are in a scary situation or perceived or imagined scary situation, we often feel fear. Or at least I work that way. Maybe you are just weird. ;) You know what has been looming nearby ready to take me out in fear?

A phone call.

More specifically a bad phone call. One of those that rocks your world. I sometimes imagine getting one of those and wonder how I'll react. Will I crumple to the floor in disbelief and sadness? Will I scream or burst into tears? Will I experience the peace of God that passes all human understanding?

I hate thinking this way! Hate it! Yet it's there. Here lately more and more as if it's ready to pounce on me.

I think kittens are cute and all, but you know what trait I don't like about them? They pounce! And I just don't like pouncing things. I don't like to think of this bad phone call pouncing on me and making me miserable and sad.

Is there any wonder I don't like the phone very well?

Is there any wonder that I needed this quote? For some reason the Fear of the Bad Phone Call has been haunting me lately. I've even been praying, "Please, God, no bad phone calls tonight. I am so tired," as I've stayed up too late watching the Olympics. I needed this reminder.

"Take a deep breath. Stop being so anxious. God is faithful; you can trust Him."

What is your struggle right now or past ones that you've overcome? Anything you want to share?

Jewish Culture in the Days of Christ

Off and on throughout the last few weeks I've been reading this book, Sketches of Jewish Social Life in the Days of Christ by Alfred Edersheim. It's my dad's. Occasionally I would record a few notes of interest and I thought I'd copy them now from the first six chapters. Some of the things shared made me think of the Arab/Muslim culture of today. See if you agree.

The chapter on "Jews and Gentiles in 'the Land'" was especially interesting as the author described the attitudes of the Jews towards the foreigners among them and then how these foreigners looked with amused contempt on the conquered "especially when the latter presume[d] to look down upon them and hate them." (pg. 28) Jesus coming to break down this wall, not making Gentiles into Jews, but "of both alike children of one Heavenly Father" was "the most unexpected and unprepared-for revelation." (pg. 29) Loved that!


From page 5 I learned these thoughts on Palestine by the Rabbis -- "The very air of Palestine makes one wise," "to live in Palestine was equal to the observance of all the commandments," "He that hath his permanent abode in Palestine ... is sure of the life to come" (Talmud). Even in the third and fourth centuries of our era they still taught, "He that dwelleth in Palestine is without sin." Ummm, no wonder the Jews want it, huh?


The pages talking about the taxation system (pgs. 52+) and publicans (tax collectors working for the occupiers) was interesting. Makes you see further why the tax collectors were not well-liked.

Speaking of Jewish towns and villages -- "On every side there was evidence that religion here was not merely a creed, nor a set of observances, but that it pervaded every relationship, and dominated every phase of life." (p.86) Reminds me of how Muslims often say Islam is a way of life. Many Christians believe similarly.

Jewish people would greet each other either with "an acknowledgment of the God of Israel, or a brotherly wish of peace" (pg. 89) Salam 'alaykom, anyone?

Page 99 was interesting because it talked how a dutiful son was "bound to feed his father, to give him drink, to clothe him, to protect him, to lead him in, and to conduct him out, and to wash his face, his hands, and his feet." It says, "such things as undutifulness, or want of loving consideration for parents, would have wakened a thrill of horror in Jewish society." No need for nursing homes in that culture.

Finally Letting the Dream Die

I remember several months ago when I'd been home from Syria for about six months, I dropped off Michael and was talking briefly with my sister before heading home. Likely I said something about "Wow, it's been ___ months since we left for Syria" since I am prone to do such things.

*ahem*

Probably I also told again how kind and welcoming the people were to us and how much I missed them because my sister summed up my own thoughts by admitting if she went on a trip like that she'd have a hard time coming home! Precisely!

So this week - February 11 to be exact - marked a year since we got home from Syria. I've missed that place so many times since last February when we took that long flight home on Turkish Airlines. Secretly - or not - I have dreamed of going back and maybe living in Damascus for a while. Seriously, wouldn't it be exciting to live among the people, learn more about their culture, their thoughts on world events, family, politics, religion and enjoy the camaraderie, food, smells, sounds and experiences of this different culture? I've certainly thought so!

So that was my dream last year and, believe me, God knew it!

This year I finally decided to be a bit more mature about it. Instead of constantly longing for something I could not have, I have been slowly, but surely, trying to change my attitude to one of gratefulness that I was blessed by God with the ability to take this awesome trip!

Here are a few things I've read recently that have helped me along the way. Soon after the new year, Mark Batterson posted this gem: "Is Your Dream Your Idol?"

I'd thought for a while now that God wanted me to be content with HIM and not so much longing for everything else in life. I'd been complaining to Him about not really having much of a purpose and how He'd been really hard on me by taking away most of the areas where I'd had interaction with people (e.g. the women's gym closed and I loved the classes there and had friendly relationships with many people there; Angie got a job out of town so she was no longer in my area to visit at McDonald's as we did in years past). Don't get me wrong; I like my alone time and I don't really get bored since I enjoy reading books, looking on the computer and writing things. But I did on occasion enjoy something else that actually involves seeing humans face-to-face. And I felt stripped of that and was mad!

Anyway, I've lodged this complaint against God especially more post-Syria and often felt the impression of these lyrics from By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North.

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run?

Yeah, so why am I searching as if God isn't enough to fill this void in my life? Back to the above-mentioned post by Mark Batterson. In it he writes,

"I realize that many of our dreams never happen for one simple reason. We want it more than we want God. God becomes a means to an end. And our dream, which was meant to be a form of worship to God, becomes our god."

Um, ouch! Then he questions:

"Is your dream your god? Or is God your God? God will not be used. God will not be manipulated. God will not be played."

So I read that over a month ago and saved it to consider later which I am now doing. Actually I believe God used this post to get my attention and it's been since then that I've realized I let my dream become more important to me than God. As if living in Syria or finding some noble purpose in life would fill the space that only a relationship with God can fill.

Within this last month God has used other posts and magazine articles to confirm the same message. Like another one from Mark's blog in which he asks if we are ministering FOR God or TO God. He concludes this short post with a thought-provoking statement:

"I think one of the greatest dangers leaders face is this: we get focused on what God wants to do THROUGH us instead of what God wants to do IN us."


Maybe I'd been thinking "God, how can you work through me to do something for you" instead of thinking, "Lord, what do you want to do in my life. How do you want to transform me?

Then earlier this week I read an article about envy and although I don't think envy is necessarily my struggle, I could strongly relate to challenges in this article about being content because discontentment is my struggle! There were many things in this article that I highlighted including:

• Brooding over unrealized expectations may lead to depression.
• Abraham, Moses and Daniel were patient and practiced contentment.
• Any other pursuit but satisfaction in Christ leads to a breach of character and loss of joy in serving Jesus.
• What God has given you is more than enough.
• Dwelling on what God has not given can draw away the heart to idolatry.
• Find your fulfillment in Jesus Christ alone.

Good stuff, eh? It was like looking in a mirror and quite the challenge to "practice contentment" that I needed.

As the song from Tenth Avenue North goes to chorus, I'll end this post:

Cause I'll be by your side, wherever you fall
In dead of night, whenever you fall
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you.