The Death and Funeral of Rachel Held Evans

Last month I was shocked to read of Rachel Held Evans's death as her body succumbed to a terrible reaction to the flu plus a UTI plus medication. I remember reading in mid-April that she'd been hospitalized for treatment, and later her husband's updates about the medically-induced coma due to brain seizures. I remember he posted that they were going to try bringing her out of the coma, and had hopes that she'd be OK eventually.

Instead God took her home during the early hours of May 4th. Andrew and I were getting ready to go somewhere together that Saturday around noon, and I glanced at my phone while waiting for him. I was stunned at the headlines I read about her death at age 37!

I don't remember exactly why and when I came to know of Rachel Held Evans, but I have read and own two of her books.  (The others I put on my Amazon Wishlist after her death.)

In May 2013, I recorded:
 
Evolving in Monkey Town: How a Girl Who Knew All the Answers Learned to Ask the Questions by Rachel Held Evans -- If you think a twenty seven year old should never write a memoir, you'd probably not enjoy this, but I read Rachel's other book last year and loved it. This book tells her spiritual journey of how she went from being a fundamentalist-type evangelical (one who knew all the answers) to someone who questioned her faith, and came to different conclusions.  I really enjoyed this book especially when she talked about pond-scum theology. I could relate to many of her thoughts.

(this book has been re-titled since I bought it) 

I remember Rachel's disclaimer about her 27-year-old self writing a memoir, but now that she's gone just ten years later ... well, I'm not sure how to feel about that. Clearly, I read the book and liked it. I want to read it again now.

A few months earlier, I recorded this about Rachel's definition of biblical womanhood after reading her first book (mentioned in this post).


All that so say, her funeral was just held yesterday. I'd hope to watch it, but we took a day trip to the mountains so I looked for the link and saw I could watch it today. Yay.

Here is the video, and the order of service and liturgy.  The PDF also gives the speakers' and singers' names. I didn't watch every minute of her funeral (it's pretty long), but I listened to Rachel's sister's eulogy if not her song to Rachel, and I enjoyed The Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber's sermon which started around the 50 minute mark. The Communion hymns were delightful to this Baptist girl's heart! And I loved the Benediction (which you can read at the above link, or listen to on the video.)

This was the beginning part of the PDF. It was a beautiful service!




Rachel Grace Held Evans 
 REQUIEM EUCHARIST 
Saturday, June 1st, 2019
 The liturgy for the dead is an Easter liturgy. It finds all its meaning in the resurrection. Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we too shall be raised.The liturgy, therefore, is characterized by joy, in the certainty that “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 

This joy, however, does not make human grief un-Christian. The very love we have for each other in Christ brings deep sorrow when we are parted by death. Jesus himself wept at the grave of his friend. So while we rejoice that one we love has entered into the nearer presence of our Lord, we sorrow with those who mourn. 

The communion table is open to everyone without a single exception. You are invited to come forward and receive the bread and (non-alcoholic) juice, which, for many, is the body and blood of Christ. If you choose not to commune, you may remain seated or come forward with your arms crossed to receive a blessing. Ask your communion server for the gluten-free option, if needed.

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In conclusion


I remember reading this was the ending of Rachel's final post on her blog. From March 6, 2019

It strikes me today that the liturgy of Ash Wednesday teaches something that nearly everyone can agree on. Whether you are part of a church or not, whether you believe today or your doubt, whether you are a Christian or an atheist or an agnostic or a so-called “none” (whose faith experiences far transcend the limits of that label) you know this truth deep in your bones: “Remember that you are dust and to dust you will return.” 

Death is a part of life. 

My prayer for you this season is that you make time to celebrate that reality, and to grieve that reality, and that you will know you are not alone. 

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.  

 -- Rachel Held Evans.

  
Pray for Rachel's husband, Dan, their two young children (she left behind a 3 year old son, and a little girl not quite one), her parents and sister, and many family and friends who knew her personally, and will miss her incredibly.

Reincarnation in the Bible, Sinning In Utero, Going Against Karma, Grace

Almost two weeks ago in my post "Why suffering though doing good," I mentioned the passage in John 9 where Jesus and his disciples came across a blind man.  His disciples - thinking the guy was blind due to sinfulness - asked whether this man or his parents were to blame.  Something that caught my attention then was that this man was blind since birth so I wondered out loud if people could sin while in their mothers' wombs.  I'd always assumed we were not capable of sinning in utero.

This topic wasn't the point of that post so I didn't dwell on it much.

But then yesterday I was reading a book* and one chapter dealt with reincarnation. A chapter note mentioned this story in John 9 as a passage some believe supports reincarnation.  If this man's blindness since birth could have - according to the disciples - been a result of his sin then this means he must have sinned in a former life and this blindness was punishment.  (If this were true, how nice was Jesus to go against karma by healing him of his blindness!)

The author stated, however, that rabbinical tradition believed people could sin though unborn!  He cited Genesis Rabbah 63:6 and the story of Jacob and Esau.  I saw this little blurb on Wikipedia pertaining to the twins struggling prior to their birth.

"Rebekah was uncomfortable during her double pregnancy and went to inquire of God why she was suffering. The Midrash says that whenever she would pass a house of Torah study, Jacob would struggle to come out; whenever she would pass a house of idolatry, Esau would agitate to come out."

So I guess Esau's sin prior to birth was his itching to come out when his mom walked past a place of idol worship.  I suppose this leads us to believe Esau had an inclination to worship idols rather than Yahweh.

Also here is something the author stated about reincarnation and the caste system and why people of higher castes look down so much on those of the lowest castes especially "the untouchables." He claims with their ideas of reincarnation, they believe those born into lower castes must have done something in their previous lives to deserve such poor, unprivileged stations in society. Therefore they in the upper castes could never do such as Mother Teresa did in helping those people as they felt this was going against karma. I can see this type of thinking justifying a lot of discrimination!  For religious reasons too!

This is why I made mention above of Jesus healing the blind man as going against karma.  Hey, if he can do it, we can too!   No excuse to not help underprivileged and poor people thinking they got what they deserved.  With that type of mentality we could say the Pakistanis deserved their land being flooded and possessions lost. Or we could refuse to help so many others who have suffered simply by dismissing it as their getting what they deserve.

By contrast, I believe we should look out for others and seek to meet their needs so we can to show how much our God influences us and enables us to love and serve others.  I've heard it said that we are the hands and feet of God meaning He often uses us as His agents on earth to do His will. And it's good to help others without desire for recognition or even good deed points.  We never know when the next man-made or natural disaster will affect us and our loved ones.  We will then be desperate for others to lend helping hands. Not sit back in judgment wondering what sinful things we did to deserve this calamity.

So be merciful, compassionate and serve others with love. Don't worry about who deserves this or that. Grace is about giving to people regardless of what they deserve. Just like God gives to us when He offers eternal life in spite of our sins.


Any thoughts?


* pg. 65 & 204, "That's Just YOUR Interpretation" by Paul Copan

Anyone up for some humility?

Andrew is not a preacher, but for some reason a few years ago he started receiving Today's Christian Preacher addressed to REV (his fulllllllll name)! Maybe it was a joke that someone played on him...who knows? Better than subscribing him to Playboy for sure, but anyway.... I am the one who tends to read through the quarterly magazine, and last night I came across this interesting part on humility as it relates to preachers.

I had recently been talking to a friend from a very different background when humility came up in our conversation. Friend asked me what was the reason two people from such different cultures (and countries, languages, religions & food!) could break down those potential walls and appreciate each other's differences, and, in fact, become dear friends. Like if we were writing a how-to manual with FAQs (frequently asked questions) how would I answer someone who said "how can this be done?" I started talking and within a few seconds was interrupted with "yes!" as soon as I mentioned the "h" word! I'd said something like, "Be willing to have a teachable spirit, humble yourself and truly listen to each other."

Why is being willing to humble yourself so important? Here is what this magazine has to say about humility as it relates to pastors. Read through and see if you agree or disagree.

1. "Humble pastors are teachable people. They are open to instruction and confrontation. An unteachable person is an arrogant person. Anyone who will not listen to rebuke is blinded by pride."

I've often found people unwilling to listen to other points of view to be arrogant. I've not always been successful, but this is an area where I've tried to be different. I've always been a pretty good listener, and I've found the more you really listen to someone and try to understand where she is coming from, the easier it is to make sense of things and find compassion in your heart for that person! I still have very strong opinions and principles from which I am not budging (unless the Lord changes my stance), however, I have found I am able to better appreciate others' perspectives as I've tried to cultivate a teachable spirit, where even if I'm not likely to agree with you, I'm going to learn from you.

2. "Humble pastors are willing to acknowledge their weaknesses and admit their mistakes....Godly people are sin-confessing people (I John 1:9). ... Some men in ministry worry that if they ever admit they were wrong or made a mistake, it will be used against them. This kind of insecurity ruins working relationships and productivity because the insecure man strives to cover his mistakes instead of correcting them."

I believe we can apply this to many more than just pastors. How about people in politics? And how about nations? Is it a sin for a nation to admit it was wrong? It seems these days it's more popular to never apologize in order to not appear weak. Like apologizing and patriotism cannot go together. Isn't this mindset arrogant? Why is it so difficult for a superpower nation - or any nation for that matter - to humble itself in front of the world and admit, "Hey, guys, you know when we _____________. Well, we made a huge mistake and we were wrong in doing that. Please accept our sincere apologies as we seek to make amends for what we did." I think it takes a big person - one of much character - to admit publicly and with sincerity that he or she was wrong. I find I truly admire a sincere person who has the guts to humble himself and admit a wrong. Much better than those who are only sorry because they were caught or who offer half-hearted apologies while trying to justify what they did or calling them "mistakes" instead of what they truly were: wrong choices on their parts! (Do I sound arrogant now? :-D Oops!)

3. "Humble pastors also will gladly allow themselves to be held accountable. Being humble means accepting responsibility for commitment and performance. . . . Pride causes a man to bristle when he is held accountable. 'Who does he think he is? I don't need someone looking over my shoulder!' That kind of thinking misses the point. If you serve on a team, you have an obligation to that team and you make commitments to that team. A 'superstar' thinks he isn't bound by the obligations of a team. A humble man gladly accepts his role and responsibilities as a team member."

I think we've all come across news on politicians or sports or movie stars who seem to be above the rules the rest of us have to live by. You've seen arrogant ball players who think they can do whatever they want because they have special talents in basketball or football. Most of us recognize them for the arrogant jerks that they are. But maybe we've never applied it to ourselves and reading this about our willingness (or lack of it) to be held accountable hits home. I also think this can apply to nations, but since I'm at my core an individualistic American from the South who doesn't have fond thoughts of the UN, I won't delve into actually applying this to the United States at this time. ;-)


May we always remember Jesus who came from the glory of heaven willingly. He humbled Himself for our sakes. Now let us humble ourselves and serve others following the example of our Savior. If He is not "too good" to wash dirty feet, how can we protest doing tasks we deem beneath us?


Thus concludes this post on humility.

Friends & a Mini-Sermon

Today I had a wonderful time hanging out with an old church friend, Teresa. She saw me online this morning and asked if I wanted to meet for lunch since she had an hour break instead of the normal thirty minutes. So I met with her and we ate at Monterrey's and then walked over to Cato's for the last 15 minutes of her break. I greatly enjoyed that!

Last Saturday I went out with SSS. She is a friend whom I'd only talked to online. Andrew has known her husband for years and knew SSS, but I'd never met her face-to-face. She and her husband went to the West Bank last year and I've kept track of them via e-mail updates and Facebook. Anyway, finally she was back in town for a short visit and we got together for an hour at Smitty's ice cream shop. What a treat to meet such an encouraging lady! Several weeks back I asked her this by e-mail.

It's been wonderful reading about your experiences. How do you measure success? Do you find it in just knowing you are doing what God called you to do no matter what appearances show? Or have you seen actual progress in some areas of life there? I am eager to hear how YOU define "success" -- or maybe that's the wrong word. Hmmm. I hope you understand where I'm coming from with my question.


I greatly enjoyed her reply and was given permission to post it, but only to put it was from SSS and not her name thus why I'm using only her initials.


God doesn't call us to success, but to faithfulness. (Semantics here!) God's success IS faithfulness! So our young adult team has been faithful to the Gospel and perhaps the world cannot see much of a difference, but they will go home changed people who are able to be faithful in the circumstances of their lives. They will never forget what it's like to live under occupation and not be able to travel across a border to visit a sick relative because an oppressive power is controlling that border. (You and I could not ENTER Greensboro because it is controlled by the ones in charge holding the guns.)
The other thing God does NOT call us to is individualism, because God calls us into community. These young adults had to struggle with living in community and sharing everything while trying to live simply. They also witnessed the Palestinians living more simply and more harshly that the Israelis because of the occupation.
Finally, in my three-point sermon, (HAH - - did you know this was a sermon?) God doesn't call us to mind-numbing pleasure, but to servanthood. The world's call is to constant busyness with whatever feels good - - Nascar, television, computers, facebook, music, sports, eating, drinking, sex, obsession with our bodies, face lifts, family (and here I mean MY family is all that counts) and on and on. This sounds like a tirade against all that is fun and good, and that is not my intent, but God calls us to walk away from some of this stuff and take time to HELP others - - even if it means to sacrifice a little or a lot.


Sorry for not posting it sooner, but here it is now. Really great sermon, I thought.

Also the other evening we visited Sam and Pam at their restaurant. I've greatly enjoyed seeing some of my friends this week.

Oh yeah

Psalm 118:24 -- "This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."

One other thing my preacher said today. Notice the Psalmist didn't say "I feel like rejoicing so I will be glad in it." It was an act of the will! I choose to rejoice in this day. In everything give thanks, rejoice in the Lord always...you know, that kind of stuff!

Pitiful or Powerful?

So I've been living in a really bad attitude this week. Normally living in a bad attitude makes no sense and the proper preposition would be living with a bad attitude. But, well, you weren't part of my week (unless you are a few unfortunate people) so you just don't know. Trust me, I was living IN a bad attitude...ahhh.

Now that we have that settled. I even went to church this morning permeated by this bad attitude. I barely sang the worshipful songs, I had to force myself to smile so I wouldn't look like I'd been vaccinated with pickle juice (as my preacher likes to say). Yeah, I was really showing the joy of the Lord in my life. *ahem* I was in one of those bless-me-if-you-dare moods.

So the songs were sung, I picked up my Bible, dutifully turned to John 5 as instructed and then my preacher said "are you going to be pitiful or powerful" and followed that with a sermon on self-pity and how it sours your attitude, relationships and everything else. He told us how the Bible warns about letting a root of bitterness get into our hearts. Brian shared that gratitude was the cure and the book of Isaiah instructs us to put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.

He mentioned how self pity stuck to you like an oppressive spirit .. it really held you down and that's exactly how I felt this past week. I just couldn't smile and found joy in very little.

Why?

I know compared to 80% of the world (or better) I have an outstanding life. I am satisfied with my house, my car, my belongings. And God has blessed me with a great place to live near family and I am not in a war-torn area, I haven't seen anyone starve to death or be dismembered by a land mine. I am blessed. So why have I allowed this spirit of self pity?

Honestly I am bored and feel I have no purpose in life. I read all these great books about serving others and I want to do that, but I'm not sure where. I think I want to interact with people, but my life is such that I do my job at home and except for trips to Wal-mart and Food Lion and the library, I don't experience people that much. I have sweet friends, but they are busy moms. So I am really bored of ME.

But since God made a point of specifically addressing my heart problem of the past few days - and boy, oh, boy, did I have silent laughter at Him a couple of times during church because of that - I know I have a choice to make. I can continue letting this root of bitterness take over and make me miserable ('cause I was miserable wallowing in that self-pity) or I can choose to be grateful, start praising the Lord and "come before His presence with singing" instead of complaining.

Oh, Brian also told us that wallowing in self pity removes the blessing of God from our lives. And I really want God to allow me to serve Him somehow. I don't want to be some grouchy ol' hag. I really want my life to show Christlike love, peace and joy. I want to shine for Jesus, not give Him a bad name because of how I live.

So I felt God talked directly to me this morning. Challenging me. (Yikes!) Maybe there were others who needed it or maybe they had to endure this sermon because of me. Either way, I was thankful -- and actually amused -- that God used Brian to speak to me this way.

Thank the Lord for loving us enough to not leave us to wallow in our stinky self-pity!

Now ... to start that singing!

Speaking of which, I love "I'd Need a Savior" by Among the Thirsty! Check it out! Wow!!

Disappointments & Discouragements

"Disappointment is an emotional response to some failed expectation or desire. . . . [They] are inevitable, and there is nothing we can do to prevent them. Discouragement is different because discouragement is a choice. Here's a simple definition: Discouragement is losing motivation for something in life that brings us fulfillment and purpose. The key difference is that while disappointments come to all of us, we can choose whether we are going to let those setbacks plunge us into discouragement. [It] is a powerful tool of Satan's."

Ways to deal with discouragement:

1. "Confess your trust in God and praise Him for being with you when difficult times come"

Psalm 42:5

⁵ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

2. "Acknowledge God's total control of all things"

3. "Believe that God will turn challenging circumstances to your good"

Psalm 42:8

⁸ By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

all quotes and verses from Dr. Charles Stanley newsletter from January 2007

Spiritual Reflections

Yesterday I was reading through II Corinthians 5 in the New Century Version New Testament that I bought prior to our trip to Syria. These verses made me pause as I read them a few times.

¹⁸ All this is from God. Through Christ, God made peace between us and himself, and God gave us the work of telling everyone about the peace we can have with him.¹⁹ God was in Christ, making peace between the world and himself. In Christ, God did not hold the world guilty of its sins. And he gave us this message of peace.²⁰ So we have been sent to speak for Christ. It is as if God is calling to you through us. We speak for Christ when we beg you to be at peace with God.


I listened recently to a CD of a message my pastor gave while we were out of town. He was challenging us about our role in the world today. How the Church - Body of Christ - was supposed to impact the world. Are we monastery or missionary minded?

According to dictionary.com, a monastery is

1.	a house or place of residence occupied by a community of persons, esp. monks, living in seclusion under religious vows.

In Brian's terms it's a place where God's children go to hide with fellow believers from this nasty world. So maybe Brian's thoughts are not very reverent, but it's pretty safe to say he prefers the missionary-minded outlook. Afterall, our own Lord's words were "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature" before He departed for heaven. We are supposed to be His ambassadors. (Reread those verses mentioned above.) God gave us the job of being ambassadors showing the world how to have peace. Peace with fellow man begins with having peace with God.

Something that has come to mind more and more lately are these words from the Bible: "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." It seems too often we fight others with harsh words or fists ... or in the case with nations, with threats of sanctions and wars. I wonder if we tried this Biblical concept of overcoming evil with good, if we could really have a more peaceful planet. To be honest, I'm not holding out much hope for that. We are too selfish, looking out for our own interests and it's not man's default manner to bless those who hurt us and love and pray for our enemies. I know, I'm human, too.

It amazes me sometimes how conservative Christians will focus so hard on keeping rules of good morals even certain standards of dress. However, many of those same people are quick to jump on the bandwagon of fighting evil -- with the same methods the world uses. I don't know when Jesus' teachings about loving others - even our enemies - went out-of-date.

Here is a novel concept: Paul commended the Thessalonians for being a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. What if true followers of Christ today actually acted on what we say we believe. We say we follow Christ, so why not act on that and just see if it makes a difference in this world?

One last thing. I read a church sign the other day about prayer. I can't remember the exact quote, but it said something about prayer wasn't about changing God. It's about changing you. Really made me think. I believe most of the time, I pray as if I have to beg God to see things my way and heal so and so or work out the details of such and such. Maybe my prayers are too "me" centered and I need to make them more about "Your kingdom come, Your will be done on Earth as it is in heaven."

Good grief, I even pray selfishly.

Enough with the spiritual ramblings this morning. Just wanted to write my thoughts. Some of this has been on my mind for days.

I think I'll go for a walk now.

Follow His Dreams

Nehemiah 2: 11 I went to Jerusalem, and after staying there three days 12 I set out during the night with a few men. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on.

Nehemiah 6: 15 So the wall was completed on the twenty-fifth of Elul, in fifty-two days. 16 When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God.

Today at church my preacher talked about dreaming. More specifically those dreams that God gives us when we delight in Him. You know...those big ol' dreams that seem impossible because - without God's help and enabling us - most often they are too big for us to accomplish.

I read a quote recently from John Maxwell, "If you tell someone your vision and they don't laugh, it's not big enough."

And this one from J. Hudson Taylor, "Unless there is an element of risk in your exploits for God, there is no need for faith."

So all this seems to confirm what God has been putting in my heart for some time: GO TO DAMASCUS! Ah, that seems so scary, doesn't it? Strange food, different language, culture, religion! You are talking to someone who has made it thirty-plus years without going west of Tennessee and you expect her first overseas trip to be to the Middle East? To a country President Bush included in the "Axis of Evil"? Whoa!

So, did ya laugh when you heard this "dream"? If so maybe it's truly from God. Definitely I need His help in taking this huge step! And I guess there is that "element of risk" involved, eh?

Going back to Nehemiah. You see in the first passage how he said his God put something on his heart to do? Psalm 37 tells us to delight in the Lord and He will give us the desire of our hearts. You reckon when we delight in Him, He gives us His desires which ultimately ARE THE BEST and most fulfilling. I hear Americans who seem to be searching for more in life. Shoot, I am that way sometimes. Not satisfied. Surely there is more to life than the daily grind. More entertainment, more activities and more stuff doesn't seem to fill the void for long. I like those verses from Nehemiah. My pastor told us to keep dreaming for when you stop dreaming, you die. Sure you exist physically, but inwardly ... not much there.

Isn't that second passage great? Nehemiah did what God put in his heart to do and later it was accomplished TO THE GLORY OF GOD! God got the praise He deserved because even the enemy nations realized how Nehemiah's God accomplished this great work through His obedient servants.

Instead of doing something and asking God to bless it, I want those dreams from God. And HIS enabling so that when HIS work is accomplished, people can say, "To God be the glory! Great things HE has done!"


By the way, we sang "It Is Well With My Soul" in church this morning. It had come to mind this week, and I just love it. Found it so cool that Richie chose it as one of our songs to sing. Here are my favorite lines, I think.

From verse 2:

That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.


And then all of this verse:

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Whoo hoo! Thank you, Jesus!

Some Thoughts

Experiencing God has been around a number of years, and I remember when it was wildly popular as a Bible study, but I never bothered reading the book ... until now. Andrew had a copy at his parents' house so he brought it home knowing I'd been reading a number of spiritual books the last few months and more recently been wondering out loud to him what - if anything - God wanted me (us) to do in life. Was this all there was to it? Or was there something more? I wanted to be content, and I am, but I also felt this longing for something more. So, I saw the book lying around the other week and thought, "Eh, maybe I should read this one so I can let Andrew take it back to his mom's house." I wasn't overly-enthusiastic, but willing.

WOW! Has it ever spoken to my heart! First off the thing about spiritual gifts from the other day was awesome because I never have really been able to identify mine and I felt kind of inadequate because of that. It seemed most everyone else KNEW they were gifted to teach or preach or help or whatever. I never quite fit any of the molds. And I felt some underlying frustration from that ... what was I supposed to do??

Recently at church my pastor talked about Ecclesiastes and how Solomon came to the end of his life and talked about how life apart from God was vanity. Brian told us that if we didn't use our lives wisely then one day we would look back and realize how we wasted our time doing nothing for our Lord. I remember how sad I felt because I could see ME being that way. Always having a desire to do something, but never knowing WHAT exactly. I feel as if I am willing to go somewhere, do something for the Lord, but WHAT? and WHERE? I want to have faith like Abraham and just leave home not knowing where to travel, but, unfortunately, I have neither Abraham's faith or freedom to go since I AM married and since flying requires purchasing tickets and sometimes visas!

When I read the chapter the other day about our spiritual gift being God Himself working through us for the task, I felt liberated from having to identify my gift so I could find work that fit it. Instead I need to simply abide in Him, yield to Him and allow Him to work through me! He will supply whatever "gift" I need for whatever task He chooses for me. Quite possibly my spiritual "gift" then could change! He may want me as a teacher at one point and as a minister or administrator at another time. I love the example of Moses. God called him to do a task and Moses said his speech wasn't good enough. But GOD worked through Moses so that GOD got the glory. If Moses had been a brilliant speaker, people may have credited Moses for talking Pharaoh into freeing the children of Israel. As it happened, God used the "weak" things -- Moses' lack of good communication skills -- and worked through Moses to accomplish His will. The Bible tells us clearly that God uses the foolish things to confound the wise and He uses the weak and despised things so that He will get the glory.

This really spoke to my heart, and I have found it to be true just within this past week when God called me to disciple someone. I've never had much discipling experience ... probably none actually, and I really felt inadequate for this task! (Still do quite often, to be honest.) But God showed me that if I submit to Him, that HE will teach through me. He will give me the words to say and lead me in what to teach about Himself. Wow, how wonderful and freeing is that?!

And then I read this chapter on love, and how God pursues that love relationship with us. It spoke to another need I'd had lately of feeling useless and without purpose. Now I know to focus on abiding in and strengthening that love relationship with my Father to find fulfillment.

I am really joyful when I remember these things and live close to God. I am so happy He pursued me and loved me enough to show me these things. He has made me glad.

Tears

What a week! Many joyful hours, but also some sad ones. But isn't that life? Highs and lows. Sometimes I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster...wheeeee! Hang on for the ride!

Just a few days ago in my post about The Attentive Life, I copied something the author wrote about tears. I only want to post a small portion of that again here because it is something that seems fitting in my life right now. And, hey, this is my blog so I can repeat myself as much as I want, right? ;-)

The old spiritual teachers used to say that it is very important to pay attention to our tears. Athanasius prized "the gift of tears" as the outward sign of God's puncturing of our heart. Deborah Smith Douglas recalls hearing a wise priest say that we should be grateful for whatever breaks our heart: "Reflecting on God's promise to write 'upon' our hearts, rather than 'within' them, he suggested that our own hearts are so hard that all God can do is write upon the surface (Jeremiah 31:33). It is only when our hearts break, that they break open: then the word of God can enter deeply, like a seed in a harrowed field."

Ahhh, I do feel as if God is puncturing my heart, but I have a hard time being grateful for tears. I always seem to cry too easily, but is desiring a harder, not-as-easily-concerned heart better? Hmmm.

Helpful verses this week encouraged me to keep things in proper perspective.

Proverbs 3
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;


II Peter 3
9The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.


Mark 16
13 When Jesus came into the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, saying, “Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?”
14 So they said, “Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”
15 He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?”
16 Simon Peter answered and said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
17 Jesus answered and said to him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.



In closing, I want to offer this prayer of thanks to God ...

Thank You for breaking my heart so that You can pour Your love into me. Please use me so You can love others through me. I want to be a willing vessel even if that means more puncturing and more tears. It will be worth it in the end. Thank You for the hope I find in You!


Psalm 126
5 Those who sow in tears
Shall reap in joy.
6 He who continually goes forth weeping,
Bearing seed for sowing,
Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,
Bringing his sheaves with him.

Even when I walk through the valley....You are with me! :-D

My cousin Beth & the beautiful valley
July 2008

My aunt sent this to me in a recent e-mail. I thought it was such a lovely thought that I wanted to post it here "for keeps."

As we were driving home from Venice last weekend, we came through the most beautiful part of the Alps, which is where Austria and Italy meet. When we were up high, we would come out of a tunnel and suddenly come up on the most beautiful scenery we had ever seen, the lush, green valleys, dotted with little villages. I asked Doug how come we call our trials in this life "valleys" because it seemed to me that valleys are a very beautiful and peaceful place. We pondered this for some time, but never quite came up with an answer.

Then last Sunday, as we listened to Pastor John Hagee on the satellite TV here, he explained it for us in a beautiful way. He brought out that the Shepherd takes His sheep to the valley when they need extra nourishment, because the grass there is sweeter and more lush. Also, He takes them there when He feels they need some special attention, and that it is in the valley that the sheep grow stronger and actually get more attached to the Shepherd, because of the special one-on-one time they have with Him. So, the valley is really not a bad place to be after all. It just means that He wants to teach us some things, so please pray that we are good students and learn all that he has for us. One more thing about the valley is that the only way out is UP! Praise the Lord! I have ceased trying to understand this entire situation and have given it over to God completely. The only thing I know for sure is that He has never let us down before, so I have no reason to expect Him to do it now. I will occupy til He comes, whether that is in Germany or in South Carolina.

Psalm 23

A Psalm of David.

1 The LORD is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever.

God has promised to never leave or forsake us. Even in the bad times, He is here.
Hallelujah, what a Savior!

How to Deal with Enemies

This was from my pastor's message on Wednesday night. How difficult is this?


Lessons from the Life of David

How to Deal with Enemies

I Samuel 16:13-15 speaks of the Spirit of the Lord being with David and an evil spirit tormenting Saul. Those two spirits are enemies of one another, and they influence the ones who have them in their lives. Therefore God's Spirit was influencing David while the evil spirit of Saul sought to destroy David.

Jesus speaks of how people will hate those who know the Lord because they do not know the One Who sent Jesus.

In John 15, Jesus says:

18"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.'^[b] If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me."

How does Satan work through people in our lives?

1. Unjust treatment -- I Samuel 18:13 - because of jealousy, Saul demoted David; unjust treatment can happen at work, home, church, anywhere

2. Deception -- I Samuel 18:20,21 - this speaks of times you practice supposed kindness in order to destroy someone; hypocrisy; acting nice to someone's face while plotting to destroy them

3. Unjust accusation -- I Samuel 20:30,31 - Saul sought to destroy David's reputation and divide friends

Lying and murdering comes from Satan. Jesus said in John 8,

44You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

We learned that David was demoted unjustly, but he didn't choose to seek revenge or talk bad about his treatment. Look at what David did instead:

14 And David behaved wisely in all his ways, and the LORD was with him. (I Samuel 18:14)

How did David respond to his enemy?

1. He honored unjust authority -- David trusted God to take care of the situation

Romans 12 says,

19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,”^[a] says the Lord. 20 Therefore

“ If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”^[b]

2. He served his enemy -- I Samuel 19:9 - David played the harp for Saul to soothe him when the evil spirit troubled Saul

Matthew 5:44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,^[h]

3. He refused to defend himself -- He never said, "Let me tell my side!" Instead He allowed God to take care of him. Like Jesus (Isaiah 53:7), David trust his life to the One who judges righteously.

7 He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He opened not His mouth;
He was led as a lamb to the slaughter,
And as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
So He opened not His mouth.

4. He refused to retaliate -- I Samuel 24:1-5 - David could have killed Saul easily a couple times, but he refused to lift his hand against the Lord's anointed. Instead he used these testings from God to build character. Character comes from trials so instead of seeking an easy life, learn to "count it all joy" when you go through these troubles.

James 1 reminds us:

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

5. He humbled himself before his enemy -- I Samuel 24:8-10 -- Remember "a soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger" (Proverbs 15:1).

6. He waited for God's justice in promotion -- II Samuel 2:4 -- The Bible reminds us to "wait on the Lord." Allow Him to handle our enemies as we seek to please Him with our lives.

I Samuel 18:14 says, "and the Lord was with him." -- David chose to honor God, and God protected him, promoted him and prospered him.


Verse 16 tells us, "all Israel and Judah loved David."


Proverbs 16:7 says, When a man’s ways please the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

and

Psalm 75 reminds us,

6 For exaltation comes neither from the east
Nor from the west nor from the south.
7 But God is the Judge:
He puts down one,
And exalts another.

Think of Joseph. How is brothers sought to get rid of him by selling him into slavery in Egypt. But God allowed Joseph to find favor with the jailer and eventually the Pharaoh. What men meant for evil, God meant for good. Trust Him to work all things out for your good.

Proverbs 3:5,6

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct^[a] your paths.

Romans 8:

28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.